fbpx
Menu

Walking on Eggshells

Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Walking on Eggshells

New Reply
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • August 1, 2014 at 12:42 pm #62416
    Little Buddha
    Participant

    This topic may have been covered in these forums before, but I was wondering if anyone else has or is currently experiencing this phenomenon; you want to say or do something and then there’s a pause, a hesitation “Should I? Shouldn’t I? Is this the right way? Is there a better way? How do I know the right thing to do or say? Is my first instinct the right one or should I think about this some more? Should I consult with someone and get advice first?” It could be the simplest thing, from sending an email, picking a meal, telling a joke, asking a question, participating, not participating, saying Yes or saying No.

    Even now as I type this, I hesitate with words, get distracted, come back to the present moment, review what I wrote, add more, delete some, and continue to plod on. There’s no flow, there’s no ease. I’m like a slow locomotive trying to muster enough energy to keep going but the turning of the wheels is slow and sluggish.

    Because of recent painful events, I feel a bit shell shocked and I once again find myself walking on eggshells around everyone and everything I do or say.

    I see those around me joyful, laughing, playful, and I’m jealous of their ease. How can I too find that ultimate release? Be free of all hesitation and not fear any pain or retribution either internal or external.

    • This topic was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Little Buddha.
    August 4, 2014 at 8:33 pm #62639
    rebecca
    Participant

    I hear you. I understand.
    I, too, struggle with hesitation, second-guessing, fear, and anxiety over decisions, words, and actions.. It’s a daily struggle that I partake with myself and my mind. When lunch time rolls around, I find myself in a constant debate- “I want this.. but that is healthier..” and when it comes to simple conversation- “Wait no, I shouldn’t say that.. they may take it the wrong way.. Oh, say this! Wait no, they may not think it’s funny..”

    Anxiety builds until I no longer feel anything, and I stand/sit there no longer caring which choice I make. I’m so overwhelmed, I just skip lunch altogether, or I sit there silently without speaking.

    And then I reflect on this fear and I realize that I am in control. I allow this fear to dictate my thoughts, and my thoughts then dictate my actions. There is no magical way to free yourself from this hesitation and anxiousness other than to notice the fear, accept the fear, then overcome the fear.

    Remember that fear is the result of anxiety of future events/occurrences. Stop trying to predict the future. Stop trying to analyze. Be in the present, focus on the present, live the present moment. That is what helps me each and every day- reminding myself that my choices are not permanent, not life-threatening. They are simply part of the current of the flow of life.

    August 5, 2014 at 1:04 am #62660
    Alpal
    Participant

    Hello there !
    Oh dear haven’t we all had these times? I used to have them ALL THE time! It is extremely normal to feel this way when you are worried about what others think of you which is probably the reason why you are so hesitant to do anything. Try to remember that you can’t control what others think of you and that the worst people in the world like Hitler, had followers and admirers while the best people like Mother Teresa (pardon my spelling if I misspelled her name) had haters! So whether or not you are doing what your heart wants some will like you and some wont. But that is not important what is more important is you loving yourself , so the next time something comes into your heart or into your mind just do it! If it is something you are going to say or do just do it as long as you are respecting yourself and those around you, nothing bad is going to happen. Yeah you might have someone say something back to you or think of you differently , but wouldn’t you rather be hated for something you were than something you weren’t? And loved for something you were than something you weren’t? Just do whatever is in your heart from now on , or at least try to do one thing a day where you don’t hesitate about it and keep it in a journal just to see your progress on it take it day by day and sooner or later you will see a major change in yourself and you will start to feel more confident. Remember what comes into your mind is there for a reason so let the world hear your important opinion and show your beautiful uniqueness! “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”. Jiddu Krishnamurti. Why want to sound like all of them or want them to like you? Just be your beautiful self and shine on you were made to have different opinions than other people, we all were otherwise the world would not grow at all would it?
    Alpal

    August 5, 2014 at 7:25 am #62684
    Little Buddha
    Participant

    Thank you @Alpal and @rebecca

    I will try and let go of all hesitation and fear and just make the choice that feels right at any given moment. Thank you.

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.