You are both very brave to have made the break. To better your life and yourself. i admire the courage and strength. Trixie, there will be good days and bad days, Maybe even really bad days. But because you have made the break you will begin to heal. More and more better days will come. I am willing to bet that a great person to start dating may be on the horizon. You are so smart to have realized you had made up a fantasy person, not seeing the real person your ex was. Some people live in a lie forever just because it feels comfortable or just what they know. Hang on. Cry for 20 minutes if you need to. You will feel better and pretty soon that will stop all together. It hurts like heck in the beginning. You feel lost and wonder if you did the right thing. perfectly normal. Keep reading what you wrote. “The person doesn’t exist”. That is the best reason in the world to keep moving forward! Good luck, I am pushing for you!