Trixie,

I too am dealing with the same thing. It has been over two years, but I still find myself wondering about him constantly. I do not have answers, for if i did i wouldnt be in the position that i am. However, the one thing that has helped me the most is NOT trying to suffocate my emotions. You have mentioned that you wish to turn your emotions off or calm them, but i assure you that this will only make matters worse. Instead, let them out when they wish to be let out; in public, at work, at home, wherever. Eventually, you will come to a point where you are out of tears and out of emotions to waste on him, and from there you can rebuild yourself lowly. It takes time, and a lot of confidence to cry in front of your peers, but i promise you that it will work… it is the only reason i am even alive today.

Yours truly,
Jessie