I can edure it from time to time. Some days I’m grateful that I wake up and live another day. But with the arthritis somedays I just think that no matter what I do it’ll always be there. It affects sp many aspects of my life. Those days I just really wonder what’s the use, I mean I don’t wanna end up bed ridden one day. Maybe the universe will give me some good luck idk but all I know is I’m not happy as much as before. I’ll push forward though.
I do try adjust myself all time to be more comfortable with my situation. I’m actually incredibly happy some moments in my life but small things sometimes send me spiralling into depression. It engulfs me and sometimes it feels inescapable. The main thought that always makes me question my life is why me. Like the fact that my life changed so fast and seeing others that are better off than me. It hurts alot especially when you see how much it affects your everyday life. But i understand what you’re saying I’m not longer that kid who jumped off the roof but I do need to look beyond the pain. But sometimes its just so hard you feel like it’s never gonna end. No matter what ypu do.
Ya it was during senior I got into a bad crowd and thought hey since everyone thought it’d be fun. I wasnt really thinking straight. And ya I was 270 280 around the time I fractured my ankle.
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