Wow friends, when I read your replies I have to catch my breath as you seem to understand perfectly what I’m going through. I wonder how this can be true, when you are not present. I don’t feel alone anymore! I had been strong for a few days and out of nowhere he came and gave me a kiss on my cheek yesterday. I thought heck, what have I been so crazy about, he loves me, everything is gonna be fine. Then today I showed a little frustration over him taking a shower and me getting to work because of baby. Well he pounced on me like a tiger again. Saying how my people pleasing tendancies won’t work for him and I must get it into my thick skull. I was like oh crap, how can I avoid this now or next time I should just be better and smarter. That brick wall keeps getting built right in my path to walk straight into. Ruminant when you said——- Acceptance or punishment comes on a whim and it’s difficult to predict what will set the other person off, so it’s better to be careful about everything, and when you stray, you’ll blame yourself for causing disturbance. Or you try to find ways to please the other person so that they would for once be happy and accept you and there would be peace, but it never happens, or it happens so sporadically that you never really figure out what caused the perceived happiness, so you keep trying.——- I thought flip, you described what I had just gone through today! How many more days, months or even years do I need to go through this to realize that my self doubt is me not listening to my inner voice. What really should have been a deal breaker was when the day before yesterday he looked my baby in the fAce and said your mother is a stupid fucking cunt. Can I say that on here? I dunno but that is what he said. It’s disgusting.

I do have loved ones, my sister in particular who is there for me. But I feel like I’m using her, like when it’s bad I’m needing her and then when I’m fine I don’t need her as much. Also I don’t heed her advice so I dunno if she is just getting sick of my problems. If I told her what he said to my son she would be astonished. I feel like telling his mom but know I’d regret it after. He has me living in a state of regret. Constantly regretting my behavior and myself for getting him upset with me again.

I have been carefully planning an ultimatum. I’ll present it to him once I’ve got it down perfectly. He has a choice to agree or disagree, but if he disagrees then divorce it is. I will post my ultimatum once it’s completed in order to get your feedback, which will be highly appreciated.

Also, I enjoy creating art and working with my hands in my spare time. My hobby is not flushing toilets and cleaning dishes. I’ll do it but it shouldn’t consume my life! How did you approach your break up?