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    I understand how conventional India is and here also.I do get your feelings.I am not sure what you can do about work but if I can think of anything I will get back on this forum.Re children 44 these days is not impossible.

    When women beyond 50 are doing this at around 5000 pounds it is not impossible.

    With a donated egg  if fostering or adoption is not for you or difficult.But you want a man to be acceptable.I get it and wish I had not felt the same as I would have been an ok single mum after all.You do need money for reproductive technology of course but perhaps your mean brother might be persuaded.Whatever happens do not waste your time with the 39 year old and believe it or not not all men want to have kids and women should really stop beating themselves up about their fertility or not.There are many unhappy people with marriage and kids but they are accepted and that is what we all tend to crave rightly or wrongly.

    I am not sure what else to say at present but will come back if anything comes to mind.Maybe review your skills and go on a course or see if you could live with a relative or friend and share costs.But first of all start with thinking outside the box.I am not going to say love yourself or care for yourself because it is hard for some people and society is bloody bloody cruel and the pronatalist culture is quite evil in many ways….people who do not have kids are less well thought of and mocked in some societies and yet there is terrible cruelty to children and unhappy parents.but start with withdrawing your attention from this man and do not make assumptions about what men want.

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