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Charlotte

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  • #172271
    Charlotte
    Participant

    Anita,

    Thank you for the response! I went to outpatient therapy for 3 weeks in the hospital, a 2 month horticultural program in Hawaii (sounds glamorous, but we didn’t have showers, washed clothes in buckets, etc) and then I went to a therapeutic high school for the last two years of high school (this was December 2014- August 2016). The treatment was very intensive- controlled every aspect of my life in highly protected environment so I was constantly observed and learned coping skills through DBT, group therapy and individual therapy. The hospital and wilderness therapy helped stabilize me, and the therapeutic boarding school taught me skills long term, but because I was 18 it was too controlling for me. Overall, I benefited a lot from the therapeutic experience and I did learn skills for meditation/mindfulness.

    As for the parents thing, I am the oldest of 5 and my parents were really supportive growing up, but never knew how to handle my mental illness because I was really unstable on and off (issues prevalent since age 6). I guess I just felt misunderstood and lonely, which impacted my development of secure attachments as I grew up (still happens today). I guess I was just wondering if you had any tips for how I can immerse myself socially where I’ll feel “safe” per say. Also, any tips on mindfulness activities when I’m overwhelmed? I guess I just forget to do stuff when I get anxious and give in to those overwhelming thoughts…

    Thank you so much!

    #172177
    Charlotte
    Participant

    Thank you for responding!

    The voices are just recurring thoughts that come and go. Mostly just telling me that I’m alone and that no one wants to be my friend, that my boyfriend doesn’t want to date me, I’m a burden to others, I’m stupid, etc. It looks silly written out but that’s the gist of it. These thoughts raise my anxiety and lower my self esteem a lot. As for the feeling of inadequacy, I just spend a lot of time by myself and everyone around me has friend groups/goes out drinking and I don’t. I just have always had issues socially immersing myself. Pretty sure a lot of this comes from my childhood, being bullied in school and treated differently from my parents from a very young age. (I went through intensive treatment in 2014-2016). Honestly, I’ve had times where I realized how “special/beautiful/etc” I am, but it’s the voices that hold me back from embracing that…

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