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Katie

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  • May 12, 2020 at 2:01 pm in reply to: Should I contact my ex or not #354644
    Katie
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    Dear Anita:

    He knows that if I am considering moving to LA but it wouldn’t be until I get a job. So we wouldn’t be going down at the same time. He also knows that I have a friend that lives in LA that wanted to come live with me. So the plan before the breakup was, to be long distance and head down to LA after he had moved there and we would be living separately. So maybe he feels like I was basing my decision to come down on him when really it was my own choosing to look for jobs in LA. I’m not sure it’s interesting though. He did not mention anything about the move to LA when we broke up but we really didn’t get into the deeper problems for what was causing the breakup during that time so it’s possible. I don’t think I am really trying to contact him to necessarily try to get back together right away, just to establish that there is still something there between us and we could have worked through it instead of breaking up. That way even if we don’t decide to stay together, there’s a possibility in LA. Let me know what you think.

    Thank you!

    May 12, 2020 at 1:29 pm in reply to: Should I contact my ex or not #354636
    Katie
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you for always providing thoughtful responses. I do believe that I have dealt with depression for a long time and have worked with therapists to get it under control. However, going to France and leaving my support system proved difficult for me and my depression resurfaced. When I can home from France I was depressed for sure but it was something that didn’t have too much of an impact on our relationship. It was only when this state of coronavirus continued to get worse that I fell more and more into a depression losing my sense of identity and put a lot of pressure on my relationship.

    I am looking for more clarity in your advice. You said if he wasn’t going to LA, I should contact him but because he was going I should leave him be. I am still pursuing jobs in LA because there is a big industry for my type of work there. I suppose I know we both need a new start and some space, but what I am wondering is if it is still a good idea to contact him, not to necessarily get back together but to discuss what happened and put ourselves on good terms again. I feel like if I was to end up in LA, there’s a chance we could work this out later once we’ve had some space and I just want to set us up to maybe be in a better headspace for that. I really care for this relationship and want to do all I can to make it work in some capacity. Is this relationship even possible to save?

    Thank you again for all of your advice, I really appreciate all the help 🙂

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