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Louise

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  • March 16, 2018 at 2:35 am in reply to: I'm unable to find a job that will support me and I don't know what to do #197565
    Louise
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    Dear Joseph,

    I would start a different place than trying to tackle the problems you mention head-on, because in my experience solutions and happiness often surface at the periphery of your field of vision.

    I recommend that you write a narrative of all the things that are OK (and above) in your life. Perhaps you have cool friends, a rocking girlfriend, OK health, – continue in your own words. You are at a crossroads in your life and you need a foundation to leap from. Think of it as trying to jump in sand versus on a trampoline. Now, you should pin this narrative some place visible to you – so that before you speak to potential employers or write an application, you know that you are an amazing and unique person with a lot to offer. YOU ARE!

    God speed!

    Louise.

    March 6, 2018 at 8:03 am in reply to: How to be happy alone? #196033
    Louise
    Participant

    Dear Stuart,

    I’m been single for a good long while and speak from my own experience and my observations from newly single people.

    1. Give yourself time. The change from living in a relationship and sharing everything from toothpaste, emotional ups and down to bank accounts to living alone – as in really alone, where your home welcomes you empty every day, is gigantic. Just realizing that change and giving it room takes time.

    2. Who are you? When you are in a relationship, we assimilate to each other. It is a part of our flock mentality, but now we call it the art of compromise. When you are single, you stand alone in your decisions. And you need to figure out what you want – for dinner, what kind of home you want to live in, what kind of couch to buy – and the big, scary stuff too. I see this as a kind of freedom. I get to choose what I like, so I have a white, unpractical couch.

    3. Keep your sense of humor. I agree with the other answers to this thread, but will end that you shouldn’t take yourself to seriously. It’s okay to fumble – and fall. It’s okay to binge watch sports or whatever you fill like. It doesn’t mean you have to do it forever. Laugh a little of yourself and note the different facets of YOU that you will discover.

    Happy trails!

    Louise

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