Hi Anita,

Hm, that’s something I hadn’t considered. I’ll have to give that some thought.

I was in love with him. His perspective on life was incredible, sense of humor, the things that excited him…I had never felt that way about someone before. Just totally inspired by their approach to life.  I always regretted having never told him that, because I was just terrified that he didn’t feel the same way.

That being said, there was also a kind of intensity in that relationship that I continue to crave. We fought, cried, laughed…everything that I felt, I felt immensely. And he helped me through some pivotal moments in my life. When I moved away…and this is going to sound really pathetic… I was devastated. I had truly hoped that we would have ended up in the same place. I keep trying to move on and, frankly I just miss him. I miss talking to him. I miss the sound of his voice.

The thing that kills me is that I do think that he felt the same way, but was afraid of making that kind of connection with someone. That it would be a distraction from his professional goals, that he would have to sacrifice his future. At the end of the day, he was just afraid of losing himself. Which tears me apart.

That thread coupled with a complete lack of closure…I’m just not sure how to move forward. Should I try to revisit this conversation with him? Or continue to take steps to try and move on? And if I continue to try and take steps to move on, what steps might I take? And do I tell my current partner? How do I make this more fair to him?