Thank you so much for your reply. I was nervous when I started reading your message thinking “oh no what happened back then!” I have come a LONG way and I am developing and learning skills to deal with situations. However, I still do struggle and sometimes I can over think massively.

My daughter goes to nursery throughout the week, which are the days myself and husband are working, so our time to get jobs done is on the evenings/weekends, which is also when we have the baby and much of our attention is on her. We have found a way around such as splitting responsibility and doing a few hours each.. but it’s not the same as just having some time out the two of us and getting stuff done for a few hours – together!

At this moment in time, I don’t think that will happen, I am just having to find a way to accept them for who they are (which is very hard).

Hmm, I don’t ever get angry at them (The only time I’ve ever shown any negative feeling, is when they have approached me and I always am calm) and definitely not passive aggressive, my partner says complete opposite – that I’m too nice.

The thing is, I never share any of my feelings with them – unless forced. So it’s something that’s happening, without me realising?

Nonone?

Hello

I am 100% responsible for my behaviour. I am working with 2 therapists and a nutritionist. I eat extremely well and i exercise. I am doing everything I can to help manage this.

My first relationship was actually a female, she was mentally and physically abusive, I wasn’t attracted to her and I was manipulated into the relationship at 17 years old after splitting with my boyfriend of 3 years, she befriended me. Due to the fear of killing herself if I left her, I stayed with her for 6 years. She attempted once and so did her dad. It took a lot of inner strength and courage to take myself out of that relationship.

My current relationship could not be more different he is loving and sensitive. We are pretty much perfect aside this current problem. He doesn’t know how to handle this side of me, because he has never dealt with it before. Again, its not his fault. I just struggle due to my conditions and “past”.

I have had A LOT of health problems and family problems, which are probably the result of all this – however, I have worked with a therapist for over 6 yrs working through past and current events and root causes – this is a long road and it has got better, but we still have a long way to go. I have just had a 3 hour session. If I have 2 bad days a month, I believe its progress – not perfect, but it can be resolved. I have spoken with both therapists, who have advised to support me during this time – not accept it, as i am making a change (which is very different from accepting my behaviour).

Hi Anita

I am having therapy still.

I have had a lot of issues to work through and 2 years on, a lot of past issues still are not resolved. Sometimes its hard to identify the problems or feelings i had as a child, to work through them. I don’t remember feeling unloved, i just know as a family we weren’t close. It doesn’t upset me either…

Thank you.