Nekoshema, your explanation regarding the 10% really ease my mind. It is natural to have doubts. And the thought that maybe later I will regret my decision thinking what if I tried harder, but I believe this is beyond repair.

Anita, yes my parents are motivated to keep me in their home and their lives. I think they will allow me to get divorced later. But it will take time. And I don’t know how his parents will react. They’re less conservative compared to my parents, so hopefully they won’t make this more difficult.

Thank you Nekoshema and anita for your inputs.

Rosie.

Dear Anita and Inky,

thank you for your inputs.

Anita, “No reason to keep paying for a mistake when you don’t have to”, that is exactly how I feel. Our marriage is a mistake, but I feel like I have to live with that mistake forever. To be honest, I don’t have any plan for now. My only plan is to convince him, my parents, and his parents, that we should separate. In my country, parents still involved in their children life. Convincing them would be difficult. They think we’re a happy couple with no problem. Since there’s no infidelity / abusive behaviour, they would think other problems can be fixed. Me being unhappy won’t be a good enough reason to be separated. They would ask me to give him more chances, to pray, to open my heart. But it’s just wasting time.

Inky, yes I want to find second mate after my divorce. There’s a possibility, although it will be hard. But I prefer to be single over stay in this marriage.

We keep our finances separate, don’t own any asset together. So hopefully the divorce process won’t be complicated. I will need an attorney later.

My main concern right now is to convince our parents, that divorce is the best solution for us. His parents would be shocked, they know nothing about this. And after my talk with him last night, I’m pretty sure there’s no future for us. He doesn’t think our lack of sex is a problem. And when I asked him to give me reason beside ‘what other people would say’, he said he hadn’t thought about other reason.

Rosie