Female here, and am 100% with Michelle Scott. Women are approached by men all the time, and we have no idea who is going to turn violent or obsessive. Frankly, if I ask someone out and they are “too busy” or less than enthusiastic, that will tell me all I need to know the first time, and I will respect their time and move on with grace.

To address your claim that violence against women in these cases doesn’t happen, a simple google of “women rejects advance” should tell you what you need to know. Just today I read in a national newspaper of a man who shot a woman’s toddler because the woman turned him down. Good lord, this stuff happens all the time.

Now, to address your actual predicament. You seem to be operating under the expectation that if you show yourself to be a “nice guy” and “boyfriend material” that she should want a relationship with you, and that if she doesn’t she is somehow “letting you down”. Hear this. You are effectively accusing her of breaching a contract that *she never signed*. Women are people, with our own desires. We don’t owe you sex or a relationship simply because we had a conversation with you and you managed to fake being nice. I say fake because you clearly have an objective here. You want to close the deal rather than respecting her as a person.

I am genuinely sorry that your depression and anxiety makes it difficult to connect with people. I have depression and anxiety as well. I do understand and have compassion on that front, and I also genuinely hope that this incident can be chalked up to a learning experience and not make you withdraw further. BUT. You need to learn to relate to women in a healthier way, and also learn to read and respect boundaries. An “I’m busy” is a “no”. No further analysis required. The next time you ask someone out, ask once. If you get a less than emphatic “yes”, there’s your answer. You don’t ask multiple times. As Michelle said, that is creepy.

You don’t want to hear this, I know. And I’m sure you’re not a terrible person. Just…listen to what the actual women here are saying and learn from it.