Hi Inky

She knew that there were issues before we got together so wasnt going in completely blind to the whole thing. I know how much that can hurt and completely scramble things up. When ever she asked I always tried to give her an answer, even if I didnt know the answer myself at the time. I was always upfront and honest and it clearly got lost in a mix of emotions and cross fire that would be a massive reason to destroy things.

Yes, Social Services were sent a report which involved regarding her, her kids, her mum, the kids dad and their family. I have no idea whatsoever as to who did that and why. I was as mortified as she was probably ( i have no idea!) having been a dad to her kids for the best part of 18 months it felt like it was an attack on me as well, even though I was no longer part of the relationship. Who would do something so utterly cold. I still cant believe some actually did it!

However because it is clearly malicious then all eyes are pointing back to me as the ‘rejected’ party. The amount of ‘friends’ I have lost over that is now approaching 20 or so as the rumours and backlash is massively over the top and no one will actually listen to what I have said or believe me. I know it’s trite, but I really havent got a bad bone in my body and the whole thing is immensely perturbing.

The Police were involved over the letters ( 3 sent over a 3 weeks. none malicious or threatening or anything that could be construed there as), then the social thing happened and then another letter (which had got lost in the post and I informed the Police multiple times over this ) turned up and I got arrested.

It’s layer after layer after layer creating a completely false impression and is clearly affecting us both. The stupid part of me wants to work out how is possible to calm the situation down before one or both of us ends up in Jail or charged ( she’s got kids remember!)

I haven’t spoken to or seen her, written, texted or whatever since August. I actively dread bumping into her anywhere because all of this, because I fear actually seeing each other will cause escalation. I want to try and untangle this mess in my own head as well as calm things down. I have left her alone, done nothing, yet become the focal point of her and her families vengence when it is completely and utterly mis-directed.

What kind of ritual? I’ve tried all sorts and it’s still affecting me as there were ‘shenanigans’ as late as yesterday afternoon. I’m trying to move on but am getting sucked back in because I am the focal point of that anger.