I don’t even know where to start with this, so if it’s a bit all over the place then it’s because the situation has reached all kinds of levels I hadn’t previously thought possible.

Around 5 years ago, I met a woman who would radically change my life for good for the first time. She was one of my oldest friends sister and I wasn’t aware of her existence until I was added on facebook.

Several years later we finally hooked up and embarked on an intense 18 month or so relationship where we were engaged to be married.

However during that time we both bought issues to the table that would ultimately destroy anything and everything.

Firstly, she was not really over he ex and remained distant throughout the relationship barring occasions when she would open up. Also because of the way her family had been bought up she had a number of commitment issues that made it very difficult for her to commit. She said she loved me, she didnt withdrew and over committed as suited as a result.

I was okay with both and tried to work through both so that we could move on.

In my case I had gender issues that had blighted me for 30 years or so. from Xmas time last year I tried to sort them out by bringing them out to be able to handle the issue deal with it head on and actually sort it out for good.

The problem was that she didn’t listen or understand what I was trying to do because we didnt communicate properly and now thinks that I am going to change my gender and will always be that way.

That drove a wedge in the relationship that completely wrecked any good and ultimately in August helped caused it’s spectacular demise, when she ended it with me whilst her mum was present and involved in the break up (we are both 35, mum is in her 70’s)

3 days later i solved the gender issues for good by facing them head on and living full time in the gender I thought I wanted to be. It gave incredible insight and I know now that I was only hiding away from lack of belief in myself and avoiding me by pushing it into another gender which had none of those worries.

I tried writing letters to say thanks for the relationship, allowing me to be a dad to her kids from a previous relationship and sent some flowers again to say thanks. It was all thankful stuff and we sent hundreds of texts after we split and there was a vow to remain friends because we still felt a bond even if it was not love any more.

After the letters we’re sent things went completely crazy. With no warning she involved the Police and this has ultimately lead me to be arrested but released with no charge as no evidence as if their is some vendetta against me for hurting her because of the gender issue problems which would be hard enough for anyone to deal with.

There have been accusations of malicious social services reports attributed to me ( I have no idea where they came from) and then a quite a sustained campaign of random and distressing emails to me from an unknown source. My email and facebook accounts have been hacked and even an account which she couldnt have possibly known about has also been hacked/compromised by her or her family. The vindictiveness has got way out of hand and is now impacting all kinds of my life ( it all got too much and I tried to overdose because of that and a number of other issues that would sunk anyone if were one at a time, let alone all at once) and my friends and family

We both werent saints but i through everything into saving the relationship and sorting my gender stuff out so we could be or at least have a proper chance of working even if we did then fail.

I cant talk to her on Police advice, indeed I have had no contact with her whatsoever since August for that reason I cant get closure for the same reason. I know the relationship is over. She does not realise though what strength she gave me and that I have changed from the person I was in the relationship and I’m not the person she thinks I was after the relationship either.

What a complete mess. How do you move on from all that? How can you grieve or move on completely when a relationship that ended nearly 3 months ago is still affecting you on a daily basis. There are still belongings to sort that cant be because of Police involvement, there are random texts and the facebook shenanigans and the potential to meet and words will lead to arrest for both of us.

Help!