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sylvie

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)
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  • in reply to: And i have moved out :) #150640
    sylvie
    Participant

    Hi Inky,

    it took a lot of courage to finally say “that’s it im done with the bs,” but the toxicity was literally killing my soul and my spirit.  Emotionally I just couldn’t do it anymore so I really had no other option then to just do it.  The rest, money, job, permanent place to live, I’m with my dd right now , will all come in time and work itself out and I let spirit guide me to my path.  🙂

    in reply to: And i have moved out :) #150638
    sylvie
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    My feelings range from sadness, fear, excitement, happiness , hope…but getting more and more positive every day..Doing a lot of work on myself and healing and getting to know myself much more

    in reply to: Guides are quiet or am i not listening #143107
    sylvie
    Participant

    Hi Ladies,

    Thought I was strong and ready to go then it’s overly nice again.  Like above and beyond and as much as my heart would love to believe all of this, I am reminded of how his niceness was used to pull one over on me while he gave me my time to figure out what I wanted.  What kind of relationship needs to figure out who I am?  what kind of relationship needs for me to distance myself to see I’ve lost my happy free spirit?  it’s like a train going in a circle to fast for me to jump off…And now I don’t feel like I hear them at all.  A few weeks ago the signs were there, nightmares, ect…now nothing, no anxiety either, now is it because the spirits know that I know what decision to make and it’s just going to happen no matter what?  But I really need their strength right now…I kind of feel abandoned by trying to figure out where im going

    in reply to: Guides are quiet or am i not listening #140061
    sylvie
    Participant

    thank you anita,

    Yesterday I have to say I slept like a baby.  No worries about how im going to pay my rent or letting my kids down.  Things will work themselves out and I have faith that the path will be shown to be one step at a time.  It’s funny because whenever I need a little bit more push, a message comes through by form of email, or saying or song.  I know it’ll be hard im okay with that.  I feel like im getting myself back to me and on track.  Wow it’s awesome not to have that pit in your stomach feeling.  thank you for the advice, yes I go to that quiet place and every negative I find a positive.

    in reply to: Guides are quiet or am i not listening #139765
    sylvie
    Participant

    Yes the slowing down part..i feel like i need to do it all now..my body has been so stressed with fight or flight for so long …

    in reply to: Guides are quiet or am i not listening #139749
    sylvie
    Participant

    He used to say NO no don’t go and I used to say it too, but we both know were way passed this.  The damage is done and it’s a circle of being repeated.  You are absolutely right.

    in reply to: Guides are quiet or am i not listening #139729
    sylvie
    Participant

    Thanks ladies..not brave but i cant keep doing this its crazy..he fits the description perfectly..let him be someone elses problem..tried to talk to him tonight and again im the only one to blame ..i should of changed..screw you…i never needed to change…need a real man…hope is for me now..i told him its time for me to go…he said he would help ..well see but ill take it lol im not stupid lol i found a new way to increase my own motivation ..for every fear i replace with a positive..so like im sure he already has his next victim ..good note that will keep him distracted and give me what i need to go…

    in reply to: Guides are quiet or am i not listening #139667
    sylvie
    Participant

    thanks, your right, but I just want to move away from all his narcissist abuse.  Im just really at wits end with all the bullshit he feeds me and I think im frustrated to because he thinks I’m an idiot (which I know shouldn’t matter) and I so wish I could scream and say everything I know, but he will deny everything like he has always done.  So that frustration is building.

    in reply to: Guides are quiet or am i not listening #139623
    sylvie
    Participant

    thank you.  I guess I just feel rushed as im sure he wants me out now…Im panicking a little.  Breathe.

    in reply to: Guides are quiet or am i not listening #139593
    sylvie
    Participant

    Yes I am.  How do I move past it?

    in reply to: Narcissistic #131951
    sylvie
    Participant

    HI Anita.

    I did go back and read my post. OMG you knw the saying if I only knew then what I know now lol The difference now I feel weaker is that we live in the same house. Then I had my own place so i could basically ignore him, so much easier to just block him, now it’s the I don’t want to lose you ect…but since I told him im not sure I want to be there anymore, he changed his password on his cell account and funny he has been working late the last few nights. Hum..One thing I learnt with a narc there is no such thing as coincidence. NEVER. So I want more then this. time to find a place of my own. Please send good vibes that something affordable and decent comes my way ASAP. i think the quicker i get this done the better it wil be for me.

    in reply to: Narcissistic #131911
    sylvie
    Participant

    Hi Nicky…thank you for that…I can totally relate and I am so happy and relieve for you that you did something about it. I want that strength. !! I will have that strength..I am so proud of you. The sense of peace the last time was so incredible, I had started looking really looking in the mirror again and smiling and it seemed like this huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I want to feel like that again.

    in reply to: Narcissistic #131909
    sylvie
    Participant

    Hi Anita…

    Yes the same relationship…I was finally moving on, felt so light and the first time I really felt at peace with my emotions and myself and he texted..i felt strong enough o meet and guess what? I wasn’t…I believed all the lies of how he felt about me, and not about her ectt….I believed them because in reality I wanted to. I wanted to know that he was also hurting, which I know now, narcissist don’t, so fast forward moving in, making my son part of this, knowing my intuition was pushing me all the time to just believe in me, with numerous ways that his type of person continued to manipulate me and I continued to believe more in him then myself. I’ve done a lot of reaseach on me and him and realized doesn’t matter what he is like and if he is a narcissist, or just an asshole, my spirits tell me (as weird as that sounds to some)..run…run..run…you are better then this…do it for your future, your future to meet that person you will feel complete joy with…do it for you own personal…spiritual growth…do it so your children see you happy and know what a healthy relationship is…money issues…job issues ..ect all of those are material things that will within this year of feeling happy with yourself all fall into place. Sometimes I just need people to say WE know you got this…Believe in yourself!!! He has shown me so much negative about myself that it’s diffiuclt at times to see me any differntley and to keep strong.

    I still can’t believe that something from 2014 came up lol Amazing, just wehne I needed it.

    in reply to: Relationship Between my kids and stepkids #113324
    sylvie
    Participant

    Thank you.

    in reply to: Relationship Between my kids and stepkids #113301
    sylvie
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Thank you and I agree, I haven’t spoken to my daughter yet concerning this as it’s been stressful already for her lol but yes I will do this. I think is that they want to be part of this family , I mean we all want to be part of a family but at the age they are at they need to this on their own, and I know it’s difficult with seeing each other a few times a year, but the truth is the boys are not close and thye live in the same house and I do believe a lot of it had to do with my bf behavovior. Unless the kids put in an effort with each other and an interest in even asking us questions about each other, there would be no point, I want to enjoy my only daughters’ wedding without having to worry how they are feeling all night.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)