I’m new here. I want to encourage you to recognize that you deserve so much better.
You are worth the effort it will take to go out and meet enough new people to make good friends.
For example, think about some of the things you’re interested in. You’re not working now, so choose one that would enable you to begin to meet likeminded people at free events. Check with your library — they often have information on many activities that are going on locally.
Also, pay attention to smiling and saying hello to the people you see at the activities you are already involved with.
It will take effort over time.
You’re worth it!