April 8, 2016 at 2:56 pm #101319TrixieParticipant
Any suggestions? I have a work friend (will it think I have). In the last five months has become distant. We would text everyday and night, catch up for lunches and take trips away. But , thing have changed and I don’t understand why.
Last year I took a new job at a different company for a short time contract (more money) while away I was approached by past employer to could back in a different role. I was excited by this. On advising my friend this he stated I’m wrong he knows the truth that I will return in old role. I stated I believe my boss is sincere in his offer and I took it. My friend stated ‘you are wrong they are having you on’. On return I did have the new role and my own office. Since that conversation my friend has becom distance and seems to no longer want to talk or have anything to do with me.
He has to walk past my office to get to work and just passes with not even an hello or good morning. No chats. I will always say hello you look nice today, and I have text several times. I get an answer but just one word etc or very short but we can go days without a chat. I have offered my office to him to have his lunch in or sit together but got ‘l don’t see that happening’. He has depression and told me years ago never ask how He is etc as it makes him think about how He is … Is he drifting away or jealous? I would like to ask but in one way I scared for the answer to be negative or aggressive (I just feel that I will be made to feel like the bad guy). Do I let it go and wait for him to contact me?
I got a new car and told him about it got very little interest in return for this conversation but I Have since been told that he took photos of it and showed tother staff pictures of it and tell them all about it before I did… Is this strange ? Should I send him an email/text so he has time to think and respond before just talking and putting him on the spot? I feel like I am walking on eggshells at work as I don’t understand what’s going on I what I have done, if anything? I did value our friendship and enjoyed his company both in and out of work. Nothing other than friends not romance at all on both sides. I feel really sad at this void in my life now.April 8, 2016 at 4:24 pm #101322VesperParticipant
Is it possible that your leaving might have negatively impacted him in some way? For example, might he have been called upon to pick up any of your old duties in your absence, or was he perhaps asked to reconstruct any programs or processes you previously managed? Besides jealousy, which is my first guess, I thought perhaps resentment. Your leaving left a void, he filled it, and then you came back and took a better position for which he was not considered, despite the fact he was doing your old job in your absence.
Just a thought.April 8, 2016 at 4:25 pm #101323VesperParticipant
BTW, that last sentence was written from the standpoint of how HE might view the situation, if indeed resentment is his motivation. That was not a judgement on your actions. 🙂April 8, 2016 at 5:02 pm #101326Cynthia Ann LeightonParticipant
Maybe he missed you but is not able to handle you returning in a different role? If so, starting a new relationship, slowly, over time, may lead to a new friendship. Maybe better than before — but different and starting over from scratch.