Hi Shve,

Thank you so much for those words, it means a lot.

Sometimes events like this teach us a lot about ourselves. As for your feelings about missing out on things in life .. I guess the grass always seems greener on the other side. I do wish and hope that going forward, this incident will always remind you of what’s most important to you.

Exactly, I feel that this event was actually a big step forward for my view of marriage and future with my girlfriend. It certainly taught me something, because if I wasn’t 100 % sure what was important in my life by now, it’s helped me to understand.

Wish you all the best! 🙂

Hi Helcat

Worst case would be if something worse happened while you were drinking in the future. But watch your drinking around women when your partner isn’t there would prevent any issues.

I totally agree. This is just one of the additional reasons to watch my alcohol intake in the future.

How are you feeling about the marriage this summer?

I love my husband very much, but when it came to getting married I still had doubts even though I knew it was what I wanted. It’s a very big decision, potentially life changing. That alone is enough to give anyone doubts.

Honestly, I also had doubts. Given the nature of my relationship (a relationship since 17,18 years old), I wondered if I was ready, if I needed to experience anything else in my life and if I was doing it out of habit. Every relationship is different so the doubts are, but I believe that many have them. It really is a big, life changing decision and maybe we are never 100% sure.

What helped me to settle down with getting married is a fact that I really see her as my life companion in the future. I get support, respect and love from her and I am asking myself what else do I need. Also, the thought that she is the mother of my children makes me happy because I believe she is the right person for that.

In the end, the thought of hurting her really make me sad and that’s why I started to write here. I really believe she deserved the best from me.

If you feel the same way or similar for your husband, I think that getting married is not a mistake.

Hope that this helped you a bit.

Dear Helcat,

Thank you for the answer.

“Summarising what I gathered from this is that you flirted with another woman while you were drunk and hugged or cuddled her. Would you agree?”

I even wouldn’t say cudddled, but there was a drunk hug, yes. My assume is that she expected kiss or something but that didn’t happened.

“I think that if you told your partner she would be understanding especially since you feel bad about it. Do you think this is true?”

I’m not 100% on this, but I think that she would understand in the end.

“It sounds like a source of anxiety for you linked to your earlier fantasies about exploring options outside of your relationship. What do you think about this?”

I definitely had a lot of anxious moments because of that, simply I had a strong feelings of missing out. It was not helping that I was surrounded by frineds all the time, who were going on casual dates, exploring and even telling me that I’m missing out a lot.

Thank you for your words 🙂

Wish you all the best too!