Hi there,
I have had a lot of the problems that you describe, and I believe you when you say that it’s hard. In my case, I have trouble building relationships because of emotional problems, and so I’ve started doing psychotherapy and it helps a lot. I’ve changed a lot since starting therapy, and my relationships have really improved.
If you’re not interested in trying therapy, maybe you could try asking people how they see you. The girl you like, for example, maybe you could ask her why she cancels 90 percent of your plans. You would have to ask her to be honest, though, and tell her that it’s because you want to work on yourself and improve your relationships.
Or maybe you could try asking someone you don’t see anymore, or someone you went on a date with once and it didn’t work out. I’ve found that people often want to help out by telling you honestly how they felt around, or why the friendship/relationship didn’t work. Then maybe this would help you figure out how to change to have better relationships.
You could also try some self-help books, as corny as it sounds, on friendships and relationships. This might help you figure out what you need to change or improve on.
Hope this helps,
: )