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Molly

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • February 5, 2019 at 6:06 pm #278871
    Molly
    Participant

    Anita,

    Your last message resonates with me now more than ever. I’ve been reading that we were biologically evolved to depend on each other. I am learning to embrace the vulnerability involved in depending on someone. Because as you mentioned, right now that feels scary for me. I’ve come to realized the sophisticated ways I create distance in a romantic relationship that I wasn’t really aware of. Just thank you!

    February 5, 2019 at 5:59 pm #278869
    Molly
    Participant

    Hi Anita, Ben, and Mark,

    I wanted to update you all as your reflections were very helpful to me.

    I am sure why I began not feeling good. I just started asking myself more and more what was the message for me. I realized I want to move to a rural area. I currently live in a urban city. I noticed I feel the most peaceful when the first thing I do is wake up and take my dogs for a hike. Ever since I made that realization I felt content again. And its been consistent. I am not sure if the realization was a coincidence in timing. I am not holding off on being content until I move. I feel good now.

    As a side note, I’ve been reading about attachment theory in adults and realized I have an avoidant attachment style. Now that it is more on an awareness level more me, I am learning to not see dependency as a weakness.

    I just wanted to expressed my gratitude.

     

    January 6, 2019 at 3:36 pm #272641
    Molly
    Participant

    Anita,

    I am intrigued to think about this new perspective. Maybe a past trauma is wanting to surface. I have a really hard time remembering my childhood. I have a very poor memory of it. I often idealize it. Do you suggest any particular methods?

    January 6, 2019 at 3:30 pm #272639
    Molly
    Participant

    Hi Mark,

    I agree with you, the sadness is the problem. I also know that being in a relationship is not going to change that. I will listen to that podcast! I do keep a daily  forgiveness and gratitude journal. As I mention, I at least verbalize some compassion towards myself daily.

    Right now, my approach is to try to engage in things I would be doing if I was feeling good as much as possible – make my bed, exercise, reading, creating jewelry. But as a I mention, sometimes it feels to painful and physically overwhelming to get up and enjoy the blessings.

     

    January 6, 2019 at 3:24 pm #272637
    Molly
    Participant

    Ben,

    I’m 28 years old. I’m not against a relationship, at least not on my conscious level.

    I’m not too sure what point you are intending to communicate in the second paragraph. I would love to understand. Please explain.

    Why do I want to understand my pain?

    I want to understand it because it feels physically painful. When I feel like this, it is incredibly hard to get out of bed and engage in what is meaningful to me. For example, I teach a class and I want to use the day for lesson planing. However, when I’m so engulfed by sadness and anxiety, its very difficult for me take action. I do take action, but it’s hard. I also like to feel inspired when planning for my class and what I want to contribute to my students.

    I’m not a very good friend when I don’t feel good inside. This feels different to how I’ve experienced sadness in the past. This feels much more physical.

     

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