Hi helcat:

IDK what to do. We’ve been talking for a few months now. But she keeps reminding me that I’m not going to date anyone else for the next few years without her inferring. Like she said that if I do that she’ll find her and tell her that I was in an open relationship with her and used to listen to her have sex. My counselor said that I know that I made mistakes and acknowledged them. I apologized many times to her. My therapist its fair if I block her calls or don’t respond.

I told her like a month ago that I need time alone because Im in counseling but she won’t let me have it. Like she just wants to keep hurting me even though she’s still with this guy we were in a relationship with. Yeah I don’t want my family or job to find out cause it’s my personal life. I didn’t do anything while I was on the clock.

David

Hi helcat:

It ok. I replied to your message late. I didn’t get bulled at school. Sometimes I got teased. I kinda kept to myself and tried to hide.

I get stressed out when she calls and messages me. My stomach churns and my heart races. She already called people at my old job trying to find out who I was dating. She threatened to get me fired at my new job. I don’t know how cause I am a good employee. She wants to know every one I dated and threatens to call the ones she knows about to hurt them and hurt me. I know that I made a big mistake but it feels like she wants to keep punishing me. I’m not trying to keep the truth from her but I dont want her contacting the woman I was dating. I don’t even talk to them anymore!

David

Hi helcat:

I’m not real sure why I was so shy. I was very gangly and never felt smart enough or like I really fit in. Like in school I just wanted to hide in the back. I never played sports and didnt volunteer for anything. I felt like students would judge me or like I couldn’t really be myself around them because they would think I was weird. I never really feel like I fit in. Even now.

Hi helcat:

I think I just wanted a kinda normal relationship. I didn’t want to be in an open relationship any more and I didn’t think that I could have one with her after everything that happened. I sort of had normal relationships with the women I dated even thought I was lying to everyone. I know she was humiliated too. She is angry that she did all these sexual things because she thought that we had a future. I did too for a long time. I guess that I gave up on that dream we shared but couldn’t find a way to tell her. So I didn’t until it was too late.

I have been working on being vulnerable around others with my therapist cause I really never had been with people. I truth a lot of people but I never feel like I can be myself around them. My therapist thinks its how I was raised but I don’t know. I feel like my parents did a good job raising me.

David

Hi helcat:

I told her a few months ago that I started seeing a therapist and was trying to change. That I didnt wanna try to carry on the relationship cause I needed to change. The sexual stuff was an addiction like you and Honey Blossom said and I needed to stop. I kept thinking that we talked about this voyerism and sexual stuff together but I know that I did encourage her to reconnect with her ex boyfriend. After the reconnected it seemed like she was having so much fun with him but I guess maybe she was just doing it for me cause she thought that we would all be together. I did too until I changed my mind. It did get out of control and I wasn’t man enough to stop it or tell her the truth. I just kept on feeding my addiction. 🙁

Hi helcat:

I know that I lied to her. And that I deceived her and hurt her. I shoulda ended things years ago. It became an addiction for me. But I don’t enjoy watching her suffer and didnt ask her to humiliate and degrade herself. This was a friend that she was attracted. She liked to hang out with him. They still hang out. I wanted that open relationship but I didn’t make the commitment to it. I guess because I didn’t really know if I wanted it and I was lonely. She kept a lot hidden from me too. I’m not blaming her at all. I just wasn’t ready to commit and wasn’t strong enough or whatever to walk away from it.

I don’t wanna hurt anyone any more. I do feel bad for all her time I wasted and what I did to her. I wanna stop being that person I was and am.

Hi samy

It was a mutual idea at the time. We had discussed for a while. But I think I kinda pushed it on her more than I should have. I used to like to hear about her sex with her ex and encouraged her to reconnect with him. She eventually did but I was seeing somebody on the side and didn’t tell her. She calls me a liar but I deserve it. I starting to see a therapist and I started going to a local Sex Addicts Anonymous mens group. My ex still texts and calls me all the time. She said that I’m a liar and a predator and I use people. She’s right but I am trying to change.