Hi Anita, Trust you’re doing okay? Thank you so much for all the support thus far. So I just found out that she may not be into girls. So I was like goofing around as usual and offered to help her give her a massage since she works out everyday and I mentioned a male’s name, ok so in this case I will use “Brian”. So I said “If Brian isn’t helping out with the massage I can help” So she laughed and asked which Brian and that there was no Brian. So she went on further to ask if I was a Masseuse and replied No, but I can be a Masseuse for only her not anyone else, then she chuckled and said Brian will do the massage better.  Well at least I got the answer I have been looking for all along and I don’t have to overthink the situation anymore. Moving on to better things.

Hi Helcat,

I have actually thought about that circulation or rumor thingy. I guess I will just have to pipe down with the flirting and PDA especially if her close friends who are also colleagues are there, cos I feel like these are the Judas’s that can sell you out because they are jealous of the chemistry she and I have.

yes I also thought of the rejection aspect. If she rejects me, there might be a sort of awkwardness between both of us. She may not be as free as she used to be before and I may not be as free with her as well because I may feel inferior.

For the last part of your question. We have no control about whom we love or are attracted to. It just happened and I can’t get over it. I often times obsess over her at work, if she doesn’t coke to the office, I don’t feel motivated to keep doing the work. I am always at my best when she smiles at her.

Hi Anita,

Yes same sex relationship could lead to all of the above. But I guess before I ask her this question, like “What she thinks of same-sex relationships?” I want to build our friendship and be sure she is comfortable talking to me about anything about herself.

Ok I will ask her. Thank you for your advice.

Hi Helcat, Actually you are very right. I don’t want to come across as creepy since I don’t know her too well to know if she is open to it. But what I don’t get is why would she invite me over? It’s not possible to invite some random subordinate to your house. She is the kind of person that can be private and quiet, so I can’t help but think there is something more, if not she would have just invited me for a hangout rather than her house.

Your responses will be much appreciated.

Thank you for your response and No! I do not have romantic feelings for her and clearly she is not upset because I tried reaching out to her. I didn’t call her, I only use a random number to send an apology text to her. I think she is still upset and not yet ready to accept me back fully. She only forgave me for her own peace of mind. I have given her space and hoping she comes back.

I really wish she could fight for the friendship just as much as I am doing. I care about her a lot.

P.S Note: She lives abroad now and our major source of communication is via Instagram.