Forum Replies Created
April 10, 2023 at 1:47 am #417141
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Hi Roberta,</p>
<p style=”text-align: left;”>thanks for your response. Like you said I guess the relationship is becoming too personal for her, but I wish she could just open up to me about it. I think I would be happier if I knew what she was thinking and if I had crossed boundaries in anyway, but not chatting with me as before, leaves me worried. I wish had a little closure though, that’s all I ask for at this point but asking her direct questions about her attitude changing towards me, she won’t say the truth rather she will deny it, so I don’t ask.</p>
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Also, she isn’t one to talk much, often times she is emotionless and prefers to not just talk about things.</p>
perhaps I just need time, rather than overthinking were I went wrong in our connection.April 7, 2023 at 3:31 pm #417118
I just need a straight person’s opinion on this. It’s not like I have told her I have feelings for her or I am in love with her. I haven’t even attempted to kiss her on the lip before asides just normal pecks which everyone does. The French people do it a lot, so it’s really not that big of a deal.April 7, 2023 at 3:28 pm #417117
Hi Anita it’s been two months, just seeing your message since I decided to put all these happenings behind me. To be very honest, I am still hurting cos I feel like a lot of things have changed in our relationship(I and my Boss).
She doesn’t ask after me if I don’t speak to her for weeks and last year she promised it was okay to visit her sometime at her place, but she never talked about it since then.
I do ask her out to hangout sometime, but she never gives a positive response, instead she’d say she will be the one to invite me not me inviting her.
she neither wants to be my friend nor girlfriend and it hurts, but already she told me why though, she claims she wants to keep a small circle and she knows the type of friendship I want.
I still don’t understand why you are nice to people and don’t want to be close friends with them, I mean we got up to that point.
We have a working relationship though, but not as close as before.
straight girls are mean to be honest, why do you play with peoples feelings like that, after giving them green light?
I really I am trying to understand what I did wrong, cos she is sort of being avoidant and won’t say. Is she irritated by my actions and body language that I maybe interested in her or what exactly? Cos I refuse to believe this is about what work and her being to busy to follow up with me like she used to.
I just need a straight field opinion on this.January 17, 2023 at 3:10 am #413952
how are you? It’s been a while. Thanks for all you do. So I am just seeing her for the first time this week and everything looks normal, although I think there might be some changes, but I maybe wrong though. She greeted me normal without the side hugs and we chatted a little with other colleagues. I kinda have a feeling she has her reservations about me but wouldn’t say, but ohh well it’s cool and I later did some deep reflection and found out the relationship looks one-sided. She never messages me on a personal note, except of course I message her and that’s a turn-off for me.
So that singular attitude has aided me to move on asap. In fact when I saw her this morning, I didn’t feel awkward, I just chatted and teased her like I always do. Just not with the back hugs and kisses. I really would like someone who is emotionally available but she isn’t.January 13, 2023 at 12:54 pm #413722
“If we are both mature about it, we can move on“- but what is the “it” that the two of you should be mature about: if she can really read your mind and you can read hers, then you would be having a mental honest and direct conversation and a chance to be mature and move on.
So by “It” I mean, I know for a fact she has an impression that I maybe into girls, but is just pretending not to know. I have done a lot of things and said a lot of stuff that is more than the normal friendship. For instance, last week, I showed her, what name I use in storing her contact on my phone and put it as “Dani my Love”. So this new development maybe strange to her, which is why I said she might be awkward when next we meet and it just depends on how mature we both are. She is not the religious type, she is very open-minded which is why I like her, but still even open-minded may not be open to being approached by same-sex. So that’s why I think she might be awkward and if she is mature, we can always forget the flirting ever happened and move on.January 13, 2023 at 10:54 am #413716
Hi Anita, thanks for the response thus far. We have been chatting back and forth extensively and I am starting to feel better that I am not alone in this.
But I want to ask you, what’s the point of discussing with her about my feelings? Her response the other day shows she is straight, so talking to her won’t change it. It won’t ease the pain I am feeling at the moment. Hopefully things won’t get too difficult for me, cos I don’t think there are times she tries to be alone with me. I believe that’s only when such temptation can come up. As for her inviting me to her place, she hasn’t mentioned it since last year Dec, so I guess that won’t come up again, but if it does, I will dodge. I guess the only fear I have at the moment is if she would start acting awkward towards me by next week, that’s why I earlier mentioned if we are both mature about it, we can move on. Will update you on her attitude towards me by next week if it has changed.January 13, 2023 at 9:43 am #413712
That’s very true Anita and I need the amicable relationship because I may need her help at anytime. She has been quite helpful and has been an Amazing Boss, so I am not going to let these feelings make me Selfish. But also I definitely need this coming week to be able to accept things, because that’s the only way I can move on and stare at reality and to only see that she is nice and friendly with everyone. I can’t believe I am the one typing this, it’s so easy to type but hard to achieve. So I’d respond to the side hugs if she gives it, but I ain’t pecking or hugging her ever again. I don’t want to get vulnerable again.
For the last part of your message, I don’t think I want to strike a conversation with her, except she brings it up and directly asks me, but of course we know most straight women wouldn’t. I know for a fact that she has seen that my likeness maybe more as she is a very keen person. She has once told me she reads minds and understands human psychology. So Even when I get vulnerable, I will excuse myself politely like you said earlier and rinse my face with water to cool off.January 13, 2023 at 8:50 am #413708
Hi Anita, having a side hug with her. Will just make me feel sad that I can’t have what I want. I intend to avoid her the few times I go to work though. I go the office twice a week, so I guess I can manage to avoid those hugs by not staying in the same office as she and perhaps not chatting with her online too often might reduce the familiarity as well.January 13, 2023 at 6:50 am #413694
Yes they hug her backJanuary 13, 2023 at 6:49 am #413693
She opens a side hug for some employees but these employees are like her friends. As in they are mates. They are on the same managerial level. Their reaction after the hug is to sit and continue chatting or gisting. I have never seen her doing side or bear hugs with a subordinate in the office except outside the office though, maybe like at a function organized by the company and it’s mostly female subordinates. Just side hug and they part ways.January 12, 2023 at 10:22 pm #413691
Hi Anita, sometimes if she is already sitted in the office, she opens up her arms for a side hug?how to do I evade this? As I only want to be saying hello from afar now 🤧🤧January 12, 2023 at 2:27 pm #413676
if I am being too formal. She is going to notice there is something off about me?January 12, 2023 at 12:28 pm #413665
Yea cos I find it weird, she has never felt irritated by my bear hugs or kisses or whispering in the ears. Women are not 100% straight, they more probably just have the feeling, but don’t act on it due to a plethora of reasons. Oh well,I really need space from her and I wish I can take leave for one whole week, so I don’t have to bump into her, perhaps as time goes on, I will ease into seeing her as just my superior and nothing more. She knows I am attracted to her already, I just hope she doesn’t feel awkward around me though. Hoping we can both be mature about it.January 12, 2023 at 11:17 am #413652
To be honest I feel terrible Anita, cos the excitement to come to work because of this person is no longer there. Now I secretly wish they would alternate the days I go to work, so we can work on different days. I honestly never thought a time will come like this. Lol pls don’t feel sorry for me because I knew what I was getting into.
Secondly I feel I maybe overthinking it though as I tend to overthink things a-lot, I kinda have the feeling she knows I was attracted to her and with the question about me offering my masseuse services, she might have just added 2 and 2 and got her answer, reason for her response. Well I guess I am just worried that things may become awkward for us and as such I may not be able to hug, peck her like I used too. I would definitely stop it though, since she probably has deciphered what my intentions are, so I don’t irritate her.January 12, 2023 at 7:56 am #413638
Yea it’s good to know anyways that I wouldn’t be having any work place drama. Uhh!! Well by better things, I mean by drowning my self in work so I don’t have to ponder over my loss. That and I may reduce chatting with her too, hopefully she doesn’t notice. I just need space for now. Thank goodness we don’t go to work everyday, so that’s a huge advantage for me.