Thanks, Pat. You’re work as a nurse, wife, individual and mother are also very valuable!!!! 🙂

Matt,
Please forgive me if I was overly defensive in my last posting. I may have mistaken your flowery language as sarcasm and was a bit offended. For whatever reason, I thought that “tender heart” was written with disdain and, it seems, took your words more personally than they were meant to be taken. Perhaps old wounds have not completely healed (?!).

Perhaps your question about what I was looking for was genuine. No, I was not looking for validation. I was looking for a way to balance both being able to reach this student and protecting the other students. I thought Sarah’s posted reply was very insightful. I can use this student’s need to be all-important to teach this student while also finding ways to increase the self-confidence of the other students. I look forward to meeting this new challenge and hope that somewhere out there you too are relishing a deeply fulfilling challenge in your life.

When one seeks one thing, sometimes one receives more than what he or she is seeking. In this case, I was lucky to receive a gentle reminder from you.

Before becoming a teacher, I spent years in other positions: aide, sub, tutor, behaviorist, etc. In those positions, I always found myself wishing that someone else would be more open-hearted to the children. As a student teacher/ pre-service teacher, I recall watching one particular teacher yell at a student until he cried for something he could not control biologically. Because I wanted to pass my internship, I kept my mouth shut and did not bring to anyone’s attention how cruel I thought this was. I do not know if it would have done any good if I did bring it to anyone’s attention… In the same way, I do not wish to punish my student for what is in his/ her biology; as you pointed out in your snake analogy.

Ornate language or not, I do appreciate your reminder to remain empathetic. One of the aides complains to me all of the time about this child, to the point that I am starting to feel badly. What good is it to have good aides and teachers if they, as you pointed out, feel so much disgust towards you? A person should be able to be loved separately from their past actions. In any case, who am I to determine if a child will become a sociopath or not? While I am careful what to entrust a person, I do think that it will be a lot more difficult to work with this child if all of my aides continue to feel so disgusted with him/ her. I hope I can bring to light the more positive aspects of this person’s personality so that he/ she is not completely alone in the world while also hoping to teach the other students a healthy sense of self-confidence and discrimination, as they are so innocent for teenagers that even if this student were not their peer, I would worry about them getting into the car of a stranger. The class I have this year is so innocent and unsuspecting, this particular child really stands out in contrast to her classmates. This child’s charisma often makes him/ her a natural leader. I hope that he/ she will be able and willing to lead the others to do good things one day; however doubtful this may seem at times. As you pointed out, he/ she is just a child. I cannot predict the future and assume that he/ she will become a sociopath, as narcissistic as this person may seem at times. If somewhere down the road, he or she does become a sociopath, I also cannot take responsibility for it either. I can only do my best to impart to him/ her what I can. Perhaps you are on to something, Matt. There’s too much attachment in the feeling of “disgust.” With attachment, is suffering.

I’m not quite sure what you mean by “healer by trade”, as a healer comes in so many forms, but perhaps you have a reason for being so vague. That reason is probably my unfriendliness towards your last post… Or perhaps you just like being mysterious! In any case, I, like many people, likely attach too much identity to one’s profession. Whatever your true profession may be, your desire to help others is appreciated!

I also have no desire to engage in a contest of wills or credence with you and apologize if I made it seem so in my last posting. I surprise myself sometimes. Please accept my sincere apology and my deep gratitude for your reminder to keep an open mind and heart. Somewhere out there, you have affected the life of a child for the better by reminding his/ her teacher to remain open-minded and open-hearted!

Namaskar!

🙂 A Buddha Doodle for you: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/32440059788681479/

Matt,
Thanks for your reminder to be empathetic. When the student needs empathy, I am careful to pair the student with aides who do not hate the student yet. It is sad, but the student’s actions have deemed him/ her as less than popular with the adults, making my job to teach difficult at times. I myself, cannot trust this child but must find ways to teach the student, for how can one trust someone with loyalties to no one but oneself?

Namaste