Forum Replies Created
June 11, 2017 at 11:08 am #152712
Hi, I changed my name so he wouldn’t find me.
so what I mean by a narcissis is a guy who may as well if stood in front of me with a mirror as everything he had me believe about him was a lie, instead he was reflecting my morals, beliefs and my personality back on to me, I felt I had met my soul mate, in the beginning he made me feel so attractive, desirable and loved.
this changed quickly however, he would give me the silent treatment, blocking my number, dissapearing to his sisters as he would say I didn’t make him feel loved or appreciated, I didn’t take his feelings seriously, (usually after I had begged him to help me around the house or financially) as he did nothing! He earned £40 grand a year and yet made me pay all the bills, family outings etc, I had to work split shifts and as fast as I earned he drank it all away.
he would accuse me of cheating when he was the one fooling around, cause arguments over me chatting to make friends that I stopped, asked who I was trying to impress with my makeup so I stopped wearing it. Told me people who relied on benefits were scum and then after making me quit my job and refusing to support our family forced me to claim benefits.
he would love me one day, yet look at me in disgust the next, when he left I didn’t know anything was wrong, he had been so loving towards me.
and this is why I can honestly say, that despite his attempts to hoover me back in, taking his new victim on our holiday to France I would never go back, that man almost destroyed my soul, I know I deserve so much more as do my children, I see myself as a survivor not a victim and I won’t let him win xJune 11, 2017 at 6:52 am #152688
so thought I’d post an update.
turns out my ex was cheating on me with the other woman from November, he gas lighted me and had me thinking I was crazy!
after seeking therapy I discovered my ex is a narcissist with sociopathic tendencies, he has mentally abused every single woman he has ever dated, took from them financially, mentally and physically, it has been so hard to try and recover and I still have a way to go, but I now have a new career (he convinced me to give up my job before he left) I have my family and friends surrounding me (he isolated me before he left) I am financially secure (he left me in debt) my children and myself are so much happier and contented (we were walking on egg shells when he was here) ‘my health is better my anxiety has dissapeared.
I can’t believe I was so blinded to his abuse for 4 years, accepting the cheating, put downs, the idealising me and then devaluing me, the mind games and bullying! Happy to say I’m so much stronger and wiser now, he will never be accepted back in to my life ever again.
if you’re dealing with a narcissist, my advice is to run, cut all contact and don’t look back xFebruary 22, 2017 at 12:33 pm #128881
Sorry to hear you are having a hard time to, I’ve been told everything happens for a reason do I’m hoping better things are to come xFebruary 22, 2017 at 12:22 pm #128873
Thank you for all your lovely comments, I’m beginning to feel a bit better, still hurts like hell but I believe he’s just a really shitty person, karma will get him as I’ve heard his new gf likes the male attention and he’s a jealous guy.