Thanks Anita, but can I clarify, this is nothing to do with anger, I think you’re reading this wrong and trying to put your own spin on things.  Sorry if that sounds harsh.  I’m confused and came on here looking for a solution as to why despite being in a new relationship, why I’m still missing my ex so much.  Yes I’ve had history, hasn’t everyone and a common trait of mine is that I seem to get bored easily in relationships and look where the grass is greener.  That’s something I’d like to change but is not because of anything negative that has happened in my past that I can think of.

Darrel, thanks for your insightful comment but I don’t need any help in that department thank you.

Hi Anita, thanks for the insight. I’d agree and at the time I was injured it was me who needed Chloe more than she needed me. I was feeling quite sorry for myself at the time and threw myself into work.

That’s not been the full picture though as since she’s been in the Alps (3 years now) it’s been Chloe who’s been suggesting that we get back together and I’m the one who has been avoiding commitment. I guess I’ve been guilty of enjoying an almost single ‘ish’ lifestyle here in the UK whilst still having the support of Chloe in the background. We’ve never really discussed this, yes we should have but I think there has been some miss communication down the line. Chloe was the one who suggested her moving back to the UK to be with me and to move in with me and it’s been me who’s been the one being hesitant recently. Firstly because of the issues we’d had in the past and secondly because of her lack of sex drive and whether this could be worked on. Then of course further hesitation once I’d met Sarah.

I guess I was secretly jealous of other couples when I was going out with Chloe because of Chloe’s lack of sex drive. I’d imagined (and knew) that others were having a far better time in this respect. I was guilty of giving Chloe a hard time about this and probably wasn’t always the most sensitive. I realise looking back that maybe that was wrong. Facebook can paint a perfect picture of others and I realise now that no couple is perfect – perhaps a bit too late though?

It was a difficult decision to choose which way I should go and I guess half of me would have liked to see whether it had a future with Chloe, whether she would really work on things as she’d claimed and whether things would have improved. This feels a bit unresolved to me, like I’ve just given up on many years history together when maybe I should have persisted?

So now to the present. Sarah is great, kind, loyal, loving, high sex drive, complimentary and yet I can’t seem to get Chloe out of my mind. Sarah is very different from Chloe and I’m finding that hard to get used to. Sarah seemed perfect at first but as things progress then there are of course niggles that pop up as in any relationship and things are not quite as perfect as they were on day one. I’m a quiet person and Sarah is very loud. Sometimes I find myself cringing when Sarah is being loud and opinionated when we’re out with friends. Half of me wonders whether I’m just being intolerant, and part of me wonders if I’m comparing her with Chloe – not healthy I’m sure!

Chloe got in touch briefly a couple of weeks ago to let me know she was moving back to the UK anyway and this has thrown me. Chloe now knows about Sarah (powers of Facebook). She was very upset once she found out so I’m guessing I’ve probably burned my bridges there anyway. Regardless I feel incredibly guilty for hurting Chloe as I still care about her a lot. Damage is done I guess.

I’m now sometimes doubting whether Sarah is right and whether I’ve made a good decision. Despite the issues we had, Chloe and I had something pretty unique and we just got each other most of the time. Other people seem to move on from these things much more easily and I thing I over analyse situations sometimes. Wish I knew why I was feeling like the as I feel that things are starting to compromise my new relationship with Sarah.