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Elli

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  • #123946
    Elli
    Participant

    That’s right. I have to respect it. And if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. And by some miracle I hope it is. But in the meantime, I need to work on moving on.

    Thankyou so much for your help, and advice.

    #123921
    Elli
    Participant

    Hi Anita

    All of your words are so reassuring. It pains me to know he is struggling with so many emotional issues, what also pains me is that he didn’t want me to be there for him. Him and I used to push through anything. But if he wants to work on them alone (and truly alone), then I have to respect that.

    I really want to talk to him about all of this but he has blocked me from everything, and is really not interested in any kind of contact with me, it hurts a lot. I think it’s time I take the hint.

    So many people have been through a break up, I know I can get through it.

    #123906
    Elli
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    You’re right, I am very emotionally attached to him. He has been such a big part of my life, and has helped influence so many life changing events. He was my best friends. And that to him, was a bad thing. He thought we should lust after each other all the time, but I thought eventually lust develops into a strong respect and love for each other.

    I hate knowing he was with her, and felt really jealous. Asking myself questions like, what does she have that I don’t? If he always called me the ray of sunshine is his life, is that now her? How could he tell me he hasn’t found anyone like me, or doesn’t have time to be intimate, when he was with her the whole time? I felt (and still feel) very disposable and unloved.

    To me, my friends and family are so meaningful. Before he was in my life, I was out with my girlfriends having fun. Now they are all settled down I also cant help but fell I’m being left behind (which again I am sad about because he would always tell me we’d be getting married soon). I used to play a lot of sports and musical instruments in my childhood. I’ve sort of forgotten the ‘me’ before I met him, which is quite sad. But I would definitely say, friends and family are the meaningful parts in my life.

    #123899
    Elli
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I really do thank you for your reply to my issues. I never thought of the text/phone break up in that way. I always thought it was because he had more time and consideration for her. I hate knowing that someone else has been in the house that I made a home, that we have such happy memories in. But I need to accept it.

    Also earlier in the year he dealt with the loss of a close family member, which he never really accepted or took the time to grieve, instead he kept himself busy and I feel like that, his work, and his step work is all starting to catch up.

    The light at the end of the tunnel is me waking up every day being thankful for the changes that have made who I am. Not obsessing over him, or thinking about him. Just carrying on really positive and happy. Most days I wake up not being able to accept that I’m not waking up with him. And then thinking about all the betrayal and heartbreak he has caused me. I love him so much, but I’m now worried if he ever does realise he made the wrong decision, it’ll be too late.

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