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EscapeNeeded

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  • in reply to: Don't know what to do anymore #219167
    EscapeNeeded
    Participant

    Hi Anita

    Possibly, yes. But i also know that i have a good life, and that it is a stupid thing to give up and run away to do a reckless thing like run away or, what has been my current ideal, to buy a camper and just travel. I’m tied down here anyway, and I’m too lazy to learn anything to excel myself any further – I don’t want all that essays and assignments etc again. But I don’t want this to be it. And i know that I am the only one who can change that, which just makes me more frustrated

    in reply to: Don't know what to do anymore #218947
    EscapeNeeded
    Participant

    Hi Anita

    I was and am scared of dying myself, when I learnt about death, I remember I asked my sister what she thought it was and she had said “it’s nothing, just blackness forever” and I would go lay in bed close my eyes, lie as still as I could and imagine that forever. I used to feel ill and the only way I would feel better was to go sit on the stairs so i was near my family – bad nights I’d say i felt sick and my mum would let me sit up a bit longer with them.

    I’m scared of me dying now, but also my family like the added pressure.

    I think that may be putting pressure on me to want to enjoy life, but how can I when we’re stuck working 5 days a week in boring jobs? I try to do as much as we can on the weekends, but it’s not enough knowing I’ll be spending 70% of my time in an office

    in reply to: Don't know what to do anymore #218717
    EscapeNeeded
    Participant

    Hi Anita, yes I think you are spot on, last time i felt like this the main feeling I had was why aren’t I happy? I wouldn’t say the loosing people affected me that much when I was young – I lost 1 grandparent when i was a baby and the other when i was young, I wasn’t that close to them it didn’t really bother me so my grandma dying when i was about 24 was the first real experience I had, and so far have not had to experience it again (touch wood).

    I have yet to find something that i want to do that entices me to actually try it. I’m so bored, but yet I know I’m also lazy and don’t want the years of hard work it could take to change something

    in reply to: Don't know what to do anymore #218363
    EscapeNeeded
    Participant

    Hi Anita, I’m afraid I don’t quite understand what you mean?

    Hi Mark, I just get so bored with walking so quickly, I wish we had a dog to give me a purpose to go out, currently I don’t feel too safe going to walks on my own after being spooked by some local lads, I’d have to take my husband along but by the time he gets home he just wants to eat and relax

    I can’t pinpoint when it started, I used to be a very happy person. Lately it just builds up and up inside me until I can’t take any more and I end up just bursting out crying. Last night was one of those times, except normally once I’ve cried I’ve finished, and I usually feel some small relief. But last night I just couldn’t stop crying it was a constant stream. Nothing entertains me anymore, I’m just so bored of everything

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