I know how you feel, to some degree or another. I’m 35…friends have come and gone, especially during the last 5 years of my life.
I AM comfortable being alone, I just wish I could create more bonds with more people. For some reason, it’s hard for me to maintain friendship with people to a point where they will want to check in and say hi to me, and create a friendship that lasts. This makes me feel lonely sometimes. Or other times I’m TOO comfortable and content being alone! The later part of my 20s I thought I found some really good friends. When after a few years I felt like they only saw me as an acquaintance.
I hit it off with a couple people at a cooking class I took recently at a local meditation center. Thought I found a new girlfriend to get to know. We exchanged #s. I called her. She said she was glad I called, said she’d call back that evening so we could make plans for lunch. She didn’t call. That was a few days ago. I’m not “hurt” or anything…it just seems like this is the way it’s gone trying to make friends.
We need people, love, knowing others care. No one should go through life alone. At the same time, though, it’s important to be your own best friend and pursue things that interest you despite wishing to share it with others. That’s still important, but we have to do it for our self no matter what 🙂
I’m thankful that I came across this thread. I’m going through the same experience with someone I love yet am not sure I can continue with.
V, These words of your post stood out greatly,
” I can see very clearly how all of these questions and confusion with him truly move me in the wrong direction from my practice and peace.”
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