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June 26, 2014 at 8:13 pm in reply to: Depression, extraordinary loneliness – need to talk to anyone! #59668
TTParticipantDermot 🙂
Accepting yourself is very important. Live side by side with your avoidance behavior because hating that aspect of you is going to diminish your esteem. At one point I was so afraid of people myself that I would double question myself “am I standing in the right way, am I holding the handrail (of the subway) in the right way” etc. My mind would go blank and start sweating when I accidentally made eye contact with anyone. Took me some time to realize that nobody actually cared, or would have remembered afterward. When was the last time you remembered a stranger days/weeks from your initial glance at them :)?TT
TTParticipantBen,
Not exactly a helpful response here but just thoughts triggered by your post.
If I can choose again, I will see the world before jumping straight into a career path that never ever ends. Yes work never ends anyways. Money buys a living but most often buries passion. Now thinking back, what I really missed out was the experience, the freedom to try anything while you can. Especially if you don’t really know where your passion is, don’t go looking for it in a job listing. Discover your passion with your eyes and body. You never know which trip/event will hit your spark plug and off you go with a happy devotion.I went straight into work after graduating, while being told by senior friends to experience the world first. I never listened. The notion of getting paid regularly caught me and a year later I had a raise. Another year went by and I got a promo, then job change with a better title, then building up a career network and resume etc. and always reluctant to take a break because it’s a pain to explain to recruiters why your timeline has a gap. So? Now I’m financially stable, with a big regret =)
I always hypothesize, if I had a broader experience, I might have advanced even faster in spite of starting late. Since it’s all about what’s in your character through experience, than what you have in your brain.
Just ranting…
June 11, 2014 at 10:46 pm in reply to: Depression, extraordinary loneliness – need to talk to anyone! #58677TTParticipantDear Dermot,
I think you’ve spelled out part of the key already, routine.
You feel comfortable in your existing routine, but routine is not fixed.
Start changing your routine bit by bit, by following some useful advises by others above, such as taking a minute walk around your own house. Start with 3 minutes, slip this into your routine maybe after dinner or something. Turn it into a habit and let your physical body do the work.
Hope this helps!Cheering you!
TTTTParticipantChelsea,
Anger is always there lurking behind your shoulders. But with awareness you can slowly start to recognize anger before it takes control, ie catch it when it “springs up”. There are many ways to practice awareness and I respect them all, and I won’t suggest one method over another here.
This is a long battle and there is always a “retry” option if you failed. No need to add unnecessary burden of guilt if you had to let anger reign this time, try again. Just don’t give up.Cheers,
TTJune 10, 2014 at 8:00 pm in reply to: Depression, extraordinary loneliness – need to talk to anyone! #58563TTParticipantHi Dermot,
I want to acknowledge all that you have said. What’s wrong with having a disorder? Who made up the rule that once you leave your door you HAVE to socialize? You don’t. If you have trouble connecting to people, then don’t, at least for now, forget it. Connect with nature; connect with trees, flowers, connect with the sun and feel the warmth of mother nature. You have four months? Learn how to meditate and connect with your breath. What is wrong with being yourself? I am telling you, nothing!Exercise really helps with fighting depression, and is something you can do in your own comfortable space. There are lots of fitness videos online, just pick one and follow it. You will be surprised what changes it can bring, but not in a day or two, give it 2 weeks. I had depression and I know sometimes it can be tough just to get up from a chair. If that’s the case you can start with 10 push-ups on every hour mark, or 5 even. Just get your hands to push 5 times per hour! The key is persistence.
My first kiss came long after 20. Guess what? My “not done” list just kept growing anyways. You have to realize on the other side of “not done” list there is a “done” list, and you just added one to it -> “write my story online”. Take out a pen and paper, list out what else you have done already, you may be surprised.
Cheers,
TT -
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