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  • in reply to: My persona is dying. #152296
    Fingerist
    Participant

    Tannhauser,

    As PearceHawk mentioned you are holding on to your anger and disappointments with your history of past experiences of not getting any help. I am going through a similar phase where I am experiencing physical pain with my upper back and neck. Recently I visited an osteopathic physician who gave me good treatment so I could relax myself a bit. Then I was able to see that those pains were mostly caused by me as I was doing too much static work without taking breaks away from these damn computers. Too much sitting breaks your body. But you know the effects of unknown poison only after taking it. I was blaming my employer for causing this but it was my choice to let my back and neck stiffen. Now I am going trough a phase of forgiving myself being so stupid and learning new more ergonomic ways how to manage my job. A practical answer is that I need to change my position a lot. And most of all, stop blaming others for the choices (concious or non-concious) in my life. Done is done, leave the past, learned a lot, thanks and bye.

    So, let go of the anger you are holding, it will harm you only. Throw away that huge mental rock that you are holding.

    When you are cleansing your spirit it is easier when you do some physical actions along with it. Take a shower and think that water is rinsing away that specific grudge and worry.

    Or go for a walk and when you are in a calmer state of mind you might consider writing a letter to all parties who you are holding grudge against. Feel free to use any foul words you can imagine. You do not need to send the letter, instead you just might want to rip it to pieces and burn the pieces.

    Or if you like you can make a real-sized straw doll with your arch-enemy’s face glued on it and smack it with a baseball bat…your choice. Or scream out your despair. Just do anything that will get the rage out of your system. Suppressed negative feelings are stored within our body and if they are not “returned to the sender” they will pop up when a similar situation happens. Then somebody else have to see your rage and that is not good for you or that other innocent person.

    So if you are not sure what to do then seek another live person who could help you.

    And there are a lot of self-help books available on self-transformation, personal growth, acceptance and forgiving.

    All the best!

    -Fingerist

    in reply to: My persona is dying. #152140
    Fingerist
    Participant

    Tannhauser,

    It seems that you are taking this too seriously.

    You really need to take a break from all the things that are raising anxiety.

    You probably have been contemplating too much on the buddhist concept of “no-thingness” or “no-mindness” which is not healthy. Personally I think that the whole concept is somewhat misunderstood (lost in translation). And buddhism could be understood as a branch of Hinduism or something like that.

    Ego cannot be removed, the practical way is to soften it with compassion for oneself and others.

    Spending too much with yourself in your mindspace and with lifeless things is taking its toll.

    And playing such type of music and instrument that requires “perfection” adds to it.

    In a word, perfectionism is the problem you are suffering from.

    Go outdoors, meet people, do playful things, interact with LIVING beings. Do little helpful things to others. It will refresh your perspectives on life. You are a human after all, aren’t you?

    Personally I think that Catholicism has very poisonous belief-system construct of all christianity, all that guilt, guilt, guilt.

    I have a short background with Evangelical Lutheran church, they have a little more flexible way of doing things. But I have not been a member of any church for many years. All major churches are still doing good work for people but I prefer to support humanitary work without organized religions. They tend to add their own agenda on things and that is really not necessary.

    While people as spiritual beings are evolving the churches with their old dogmas are lacking heavily behind.

    Now is the time for people to really open their hearts and start doing things in practical ways. In ways that are really working and binding us together. We all are pieces of one common life. Separate beings but heavily dependant on each other.

    You should consider meeting some therapist who has a history of handling people with religious backgrounds.

    Or if you still like to try with some Catholic priest who has a more practical and wider view on handling spiritual issues it might be easier to you. Depends on how bad your “allergy” with Catholics are.

    I wish you find your inner clarity. Hope you do not get any pimples or spots when I say this but God really works through people. He/She works through you and if your light gets dim then go and borrow from someone else. The light will not be diminished from that.

    in reply to: Tired of depression and anxiety #151940
    Fingerist
    Participant

    Saman,

    all you need to do is to start believing that you can really change your situation.

    You need a lot of positive input from others but the most important input is that you make yourself.

    We all are carrying some amount of life-negating behaviour patterns, limiting beliefs and such.

    It is our privilege to get rid of them so those poisoned patterns will not affect you or anyone else in the future.

    By design you are not created to be a victim of any situation that life may throw at you.

    If you need to verify this, just ask the Designer…

    Some of us are built to be very sensitive to emotions and sometimes it may be difficult to get rid of them.

    But as said when you are feeling stuck or depressed you need to start moving. Any direction is fine as it is a start.

    Find the things and people that give you even a sparkle of joy. And then stick to them no matter what.

    You might find some practical relief from practising yoga, the style of yoga depends on what your physical condition is.

    And the best if you can get a therapist, I believe that CBT (Cognitional Behaviour Therapy) would be the most effective in the long run as it will give you tools how to transform you internally for good.

    When you own the tools you do not have to borrow them anymore.

    All the best and even better!

    in reply to: self sabotage 101 #151944
    Fingerist
    Participant

    Hi Greenshade,

    You have invested a quite amount of your time and energy on that project.

    It seems that there has not been a proper closure and you feel sorry for the project ending before it’s completion.

    You might consider creating some kind of closure by yourself.

    When you encounter a thought or situation with loose end you just think through it.

    No need to imagine what might have been if things were different.

    Make a list of lessons learned and friends earned.

    Then move along, your life is awaiting.

     

    in reply to: My persona is dying. #151948
    Fingerist
    Participant

    Tannhauser,

    I do not know what kind of philosophies or thought and emotion patterns you have sunken yourself into but seems that they have not been worthwhile.

    You probably have been dwelling too much doing same things and now you are totally bored with them.

    You are transforming to something else as a being and your state is just a passing phase in transformation.

    Do not stay in the agony, start doing things you may have completely overlooked.

    I do believe that “God” or the source of everything (GO-O-OD) exists but as we are limited beings in many ways we are not always able to perceive the bliss of existence, only partial “showers” of it. I do not belong to any church but I have experienced many “mystical” revelations while reading sacred texts of multiple religions leaving me weeping under the depth of the feeling.

    I really cannot blame the Provider for not fullfilling my every wish.

    There are many things that we just have to do ourselves.

    The simple law is that on what you concentrate your actions will grow within you.

    So if you feed any angst or depression it will get bigger and bigger.

    Turn your focus on delightful things and actions and you will feel better.

    I have found many helpful tips on the YouTube videos by Sadhguru, he is a guy with a genuine no-bullshit type of attitude on all things of spirituality and beyond. Highly recommended.

    Wishing wellness,

    Fingerist

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)