Anita,

Thank you so much for taking the time to come and answer. It is nothing new that I most definitely struggle with OCD, and this bump in our relationship is my greatest obsession, and my biggest fear is that I am settling. Do you think what he did is unforgivable? Do you think what is did is uncommon? He was 19 when this all happened and I wish we could’ve just started dating NOW as I believe he is more mature, and just not have any bad history in the relationship. I often feel as though I deserve someone that was great and didn’t have any “growing up” to do, or ever put me in pain. I know he was young and it was such stupid mistakes and I know he was scared to tell me, it just hurts and makes me anxious and that is why my OCD is latching on to it. He has been so great recently so it kills me that I am dwelling on our worst times. I find myself being scared that he might be hiding so much more, and that he is going to leave me again to in other words “party” and believing his friends with the whole “the grass is greener on the other side”, and I know that was really just a phase. I can completely see myself marrying him. He’s my best friend, He is literally going to be the BEST father and we just really compliment each other well because we are exact opposites. I also tend to think to myself… in 10 years do you think I am going to care that this kid kissed another girl in college when we were on a break? Or that he wanted to party and broke up with me over such stupidity? and I always find myself answering “absolutely not”, and that makes me calm down. I am just in a pretty bad rut and I’ve always been so independent and I am scared I am a fool for putting up with some of this stuff, but I don’t know if that is just my OCD. Its a horrible cycle.