Thank you again to everyone for your kind words, and suggestions. Since my post in December we have decided to be separated, for us that means our home is home base and a few nights of the week I sleep at my parents house while he is homewith the kids and we will switch on and off. Luckily, our kids are quite young, 5 and 2, so we simply say that Mommy is at Grandma’s and Papa is at Uncle Joe’s. It has been so hard especially after the holidays as I was foolishly hoping for a Christmas miracle only to come back to work to face harsh realities again. I’ve sought counseling, a divorce/separated support group, training for a 15K race, and am seeing friends regularly to keep a positive outlook and distract myself. It is hard every single day and find myself trying to live hour by hour, not day by day. Friends and family think I am strong, but when put in this situation what more can you do? I want to lie down in bed and cry. I don’t want to come to work. But I have kids, a mortgage to pay, and my own sanity to keep up. I just want to talk to him, ask him why? Does he have an answer for me yet? How long will it take for him to make a decision? This gray area, the not knowing and waiting has been the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. I’m getting to the point that knowing ANY answer will help me move on in a positive light with or without him.

Thank you for your kind words Inky. I don’t feel like a “Warrior Woman” but it does feel like I go in to battle everyday so I guess that makes sense. I will definitely keep your advice in mind and mull it over with everything else that is going on in my head. And I will look into that book you suggested as well! I appreciate you taking the time to read my post and comment. The positive affirmation was a great way to start my Tuesday!