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Gaelyn

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  • #280469
    Gaelyn
    Participant

    Dear lilroo,

    I was married for 26 years to a man who is a sex addict. I didn’t realize it of course. I never knew what was my level of sex drive, as I never got to the point of feeling a sexual urge. We had a lot of sex (3x/day was his minimum amount to keep him from being angry). Eventually I realized that I didn’t even feel like I was in the room. It was all about his need for release. It had nothing to do with love or spiritual communication. When I did reject his sexual advances I would receive his anger.

    I hope this is not your situation. Can you ask your man if he is feeling overwhelmed by your sexual needs? You say this has not been an issue in past relationships. What is your sexual need per day/week/month. Ask your man what is ideal for him. IF this is a deal breaker then you may want to consider moving on. Sex can’t make a relationship but it surely can break a relationship.

    Good Luck

    #280465
    Gaelyn
    Participant

    Hi Katie

    I have a beautiful best friend. Every time we go out men drop off their phone number and names with a “call me”. When Diane was pregnant men would run across a store to open a door for her. Once at a concert Diane dropped her sweater and the performer left the stage to retrieve and return her sweater. And on and on. Diane is also the most gorgeous person on the inside.

    I don’t have “IT”. I never had IT. No amount of dieting or self care was ever going to give me “IT”

    IT is a knowing that you are attractive and worthwhile. I’m a VERY worthwhile, smart, kind, caring, and giving person. I’m a great mother, friend, daughter, and pastwife.

    I am unattractive. I am tall. I have huge hands and feet (man sized). I have dry frizzy hair. I have tiny eyes with droopy lids. I have a face that is long and narrow – like a lozenge.  All I ever wanted was to be cute and petite. Like my older sister.

    I believe my un-attractiveness has kept me from getting the very best jobs. I have never had a huge selection of men that were interested in me. And yet I’m very happy. I acknowledge and accept that I’m unattractive (on the outside). I don’t put myself in situations where that is going to be an issue for me. I walk by the water, I sing, I play drum, I meditate, and I spend time with the people who love me.

    Consider how close you are to achieving maximum attractiveness. You can create “IT” by believing in yourself, and loving yourself.  Be happy and content. Smile more – it’s a magnet. Praise yourself every morning and every night before bed. Set goals and work towards them.

    Good luck!

     

     

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