Dear  Anita, I have been speaking to my ex for the past few days. Forunately, we are now on speaking terms  and we were able to talk about the monetary issues  I mentioned . We both agreed that both of us has indeed changed from the past.

I tried to mention about the chance of getting back. But the only issue is that she has fallen for someone else even though it might be one sided love and not sure if she can change her feelings out. So the verdict is for me to just move and maybe wait for an opening if available.

The guy she has fallen for is a close Friend of hers while we were still dating and after the breakup and much interaction my ex has fallen for him. I am not sure how to interpret this signal. But I’m want to avoid overthinking and just see what happens in the future while focusing on finding myself a job first

Hi Eliana, the “what ifs” definitely is a big question in my mind right now after the break up. Because I always expect my ex to change in a certain way (get her to slim down and eat healthy, be more active), what if I never had all these expectations at all.

I just always wonder if I was really compatible with my ex because we are very different people. She spends and enjoys while I save and plan my enjoyment. But definitely, considering the current state I thought we had a chance of getting married.

People always say to seek for similarities and compatibility in a relationship but now after reflection, I felt that opposites in my case could be a good balance for both of us. Though I am not sure now if I can negotiate my whole life with her..

Anita, I will definitely find time to speak to her though part of me feels that I should leave her and grow personally and if fate permits and she is single, pursue her again.

Sorry if my logic sounds messy. My thoughts are still all over the place.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 1 month ago by yk.