I would caution you about bringing in a mutual friend to help you mediate confronting your friend. That may do more harm than good. It has the potential to strain the relationship your mutual friend has with the friend you wish to confront. It may also place that mutual friend in the uncomfortable position of having to take a side, which could cause the friend who is confronted to lose respect for the mutual friend and further erode the respect & trust she has in you. It may also cause the mutual friend to resent you for placing him or her in the middle of this situation.

Futhermore, the friend who you wish to confront may feel ambushed and attacked, causing her to become very defensive. I’ m not sure that interventions actually work. If you do decide that having an intermediary is the best route, perhaps seeking a completely neutral one or a professional who specializes in conflict resolution will work out much better than getting this mutual friend involved. However, it’s courageous of you to recognize that you may not be able to resolve this strained relationship with your friend single-handedly, so I commend you for seeking advice on this forum and thinking about who among your friendship circle can be trusted to help.

Good luck in resolving this conflict with your friend. I truly hope you two can see eye to eye and heal any misgivings you may have in your friendship.

Peace and Blessings!

Is your friend aware of her behavior and how it is negatively affecting you? Has your friend been acting this way for awhile or did she recently encounter some sort of obstacle(s) in her life? Does your friend have a support system she can turn to?

I think too many people choose to withdraw themselves from people they don’t like or who they feel no longer serves them without an explanation. These days instead of saying, “No” people simply choose not to respond. I think you have the right to say, “No more.” to this friend; however, I think it’s best to offer a simple explanation or suggest that they seek professional guidance, especially if this person matters to you. In light of the recent incidences of mass shootings, I think a number of the perpetrators became so mired in negativity and alienation because they may have found themselves with no one to turn to for emotional support. Consequently, they resorted to violence either towards others or themselves. These are the people who need love the most. Please don’t misinterpret my advice as a reason to continue to hold on to this negative friend, but I think a conversation or at least an email letting them know that you care, where you stand, and suggest that you think they need the kind of help that is beyond your expertise may be a sound approach. You have to decide is this a friend for a reason, season, or a lifetime? Good luck in whatever you decide, but it’s important to put your mental health first. I’ll leave you with his poem:

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown