I’ve been in a similar situation for a very long time.  Ive come to the conclusion that my husband is Aspergers hence unable to talk about emotional issues. I’ve done a lot of soul searching. If you have truly made the decision that you want to leave then taking action in separating is what needs to be done.  If you haven’t actually made the decision, this may be the reason you are finding excuses not to take action?  The bottom line is you are unhappy with the way things are so finding the courage to change it is the only route to feeling happy and not lonely.  Changing it can mean staying and finding a way to accept the things that are good about your relationship and changing the parts that make you feel lonely and unfulfilled or leaving and making a new life for yourself on your own.  This could lead you to bringing the things you really want in your life.  You have to know what it is you want before you can strive to get it.  Courage to change it is all you need. Check out Teal Swan her book on loneliness and her you tube videos on other topics have helped me in my journey.