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Gladys

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  • in reply to: YOU DON'T NEED CLOSURE #60610
    Gladys
    Participant

    Hello @Michael!
    For starters, I am truly sorry that someone had to resort to being harsh with you and to hurt you. One of the main reasons why I do not reach out to my ex is because he already told me what I had to hear. I know that if I contact him I am only exposing myself to more hurtful words and BS. I know that I am a good person and I know that I gave it my all, at the end of the day he had already made up his mind about not wanting to be with me so there was nothing I could do. And why would I even want to do more for someone who did not open up or appreciate me as a person? I am still recovering and I am still “under construction,” but I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. As for her telling you that you never made her happy, well that just sounds like someone who has chronic dissatisfaction and you have to know that you should be able to make yourself happy and to surround yourself with happy and positive people. Remind yourself that you, more than anyone else you know, deserves to be happy.

    in reply to: YOU DON'T NEED CLOSURE #60036
    Gladys
    Participant

    YES! Thanks for having an insightful response to my situation. I completely agree when you say, “So, for someone to start feeling like this in January but not bringing it up until December, at which point they’ve meticulously self-assessed it, is completely balls,” in my situation, I feel as if I was being dragged on for months while he was trying to figure out if he wanted to be with me or not, meanwhile he was making me believe that everything was okay. How fucked up can someone possibly be? I mean was I supposed to wise up and figure it out myself? At this point I think he just started to have too many personal issues that he never bothered to talk about or bring up, and although I would have been there for him like no other, he kept me in the dark, and yes, he was a coward about it all.

    As for my ability to be able to move on: Well I simply don’t have a choice. Of course it is still difficult and it is a work in progress, but I am trying to see things simply and for what they are. I know it sounds crazy to most people but I am OK with the “closure” that I got. I want to close that chapter and move on, I know that digging deeper and trying to find the “right answer” is only going to hurt me more so why bother? Just keep going forward and don’t look back.

    in reply to: YOU DON'T NEED CLOSURE #60018
    Gladys
    Participant

    This post could not have come at a better time for me. My seven year relationship ended about a month ago for good. He broke up with me and his reason was that he was “not in love” anymore. Seeing as how we were getting ready to move in together and take our relationship to the next level, the break-up came out of left field. But, I accepted that as his reason and I feel that I am moving on and focusing on myself and my needs and working towards discovering who I am as a newly single woman. However, a couple of my friends and family members have been asking how I could possibly be satisfied with his reasoning. They tell me that there has to be a bigger and deeper reason as to why he left me. But I don’t care to know. There could be a million reasons as to why he decided to leave me, but the fact alone that he LEFT me is reason enough to let him go. It’s like getting directions somewhere and there are different routes and highways and roads that you can take, but at the end of the day you are still going to arrive at the same destination. I made the decision to cut off contact with him 100%, luckily we do not have any mutual friends or kids or anything that will tempt me to dig deeper and understand why he left because I simply do not want to know. I am glad that there are others out there who can accept “closure” simply.

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