I’m still texting and trying to get on call with her. Anita pls guide me. The pain in unbearable.

Goingthroughlife

I called her during the panic attacks for comfort. Missed to mention that.

Dear Anita

I think so, but I talked to her today over the call. She said she has lost feelings, i apologized for being ignorant during the relationship, but I said I wanted to still try for us, I know if not her someone else is there, but I just want to try my best, I don’t want to regret anything. It hurts she kissed someone else, and she met him again actually. But my gut says to still try, so I am trying. I love her for who she is, apart from the cheating part.

My fear of being alone is hard to explain. It’s like a mental and physical support I seek, I feel empty without a relationship. Although i know it’s not good, but this is what it is.

Hoping for your reply Dear Anita

Goingthroughlife

Hi Anita, I hope you’re well my friend.

SS and I haven’t gotten back together, I have told her my feelings and my intention of getting back but she’s says there’s no point, as there is no future now because of the cheating incident.

The only validation I mostly seek is by being in a relationship with someone, meaning that they accept me for who I am. It also stems from my fear of being alone.

I have no health concerns Anita, I’m just a bit overweight and I would like to attain and maintain a leaner physic.

Hoping to hear from you soon Anita.

Goingthroughlife

Hi dear Anita,

Yes, there’s nothing wrong, she asked me if I want to get together, how will I ever trust again if I get with her. I did not answer her question.

Anita, as I was bullied and told I was ugly in my childhood, I inherently seek external validation through relationships and intimacy.

I’m happy about the decision I made career wise, it makes me feel very light, I just want to make my other aspects of life better too, I want to achieve what I want to, because it’s one life. I have started focusing on my health and I want to become my best version physically and emotionally, but I think that’s too to attract relationships in my life.

I hope I’m not blabbering in dear Anita. Thank you for listening.

Hoping to hear from you soon friend.

GoingThroughLife

Thank you for your reply dear Anita. I’m happy I could make you smile.

After the breakup, I knew there was a need to change, I have decided to pursue the professional course I was running away for years, since 2019 actually. Now it’s 2025 and I’m 24, it’s now or never, and pursuing this course will give me certainty in life, which is very needed. As you know my confused nature, I will try to go back on my decision, but I trust I will talk to myself in not going back. This course gives me a chance to scale my father’s work.

My heart feels lighter in choosing this path for me, it’s scared but it feels right.

I have started working on my health and I know although a very tough path may lie ahead, I will get through it listening to my heart.

Thank you for listening again my friend Anita.

Hoping to hear from you soon
GoingThroughLife

Anita

Thank you for your response again and for writing this. This changed my perspective on many things. I really like your idea, my family and friends treat me like a 24 year old, but the child still isn’t treated like a child, he makes mistakes, he’s confused. This confusion comes out in real life confusion and attachment issues in my present life. I will start treating that child like a child, I’ll hold his hand so that he’s never alone again. Together we’ll make the right decisions and get through the consequences.

I never knew it was possible to change my attachment style, I thought I could control it and not make it spillover my relationships. I tried it with SS but it resulted in me being ignorant, out of the fear of being overly reliant on her. By doing this, I couldn’t be there for her either when she needed me the most. I was scared of opening up my attachment style. You are right SS made me feel safe and sound secure, I never felt like this in any previous relationship, i think that’s why I thought she will understand, I was wrong and I should be more conscious in my relationships. I miss her and that feeling.

Although I can’t see myself praying with him Anita, because both our needs are different, I’m 24, I have physical needs too. But I will try what you said, I asked you to be my guide, I will let you guide me.

Thank you for supporting me Anita and for your kind words in the first line. I hope I can fully say the same about myself too in the future.

I’m grateful I stumbled upon this website to find you and stories of amazing people written in blogs. Out of the immense probability of not finding this, I did find this and you.

I will keep you updated on the possible interactions with the child. And any tips on understanding your gut and listening to it would be grateful to know from you dear Anita.

Thanking you and hoping to hear from you again dear Anita.

Your grateful friend
GoingThroughLife