Hi Anita,

I’m always filled with gratefulness after your every reply and when I read it. You write with love.

I did attend to those wounds, they still hurt me when I think about them. Yes, these wounds have spilled over in my relationships. I have recognised then I tried my best to not lie but hind those wounds, I wanted a pure relationship with less wound exposure. Apart from that my mother is very well know, she attends to me very well and nicely. She understands me and helps me in every way. I know I can rely on her, I’m grateful to her. My sister wasn’t here with me at my home for 8 years now, I reconnected with her again, and she’s said she’s here for me, I’m her younger brother. I just want to focus more on these aspects now, ik my childhood got bad, but now the same people are here for me. I’m grateful. I just need to build faith in myself and work on myself, I’m scared of working hard, i don’t know why. But I know it’s time for a change. Anita, I ask your help in this change, not from a perspective from focusing on the past, but on the present and the future. I need your guidance Anita.

SS has no remorse now, she is blaming me too for how the relationship turned out, I agree I didn’t treat her like a typical boyfriend after first year, but I tried my best and I did not abude her in any way. I was ignorant sometimes yes.

I guess it’s to move on. I miss her, I’m sure she will too, but I need to accept it now. I can geel a weak signal now there is someone else out there for me.

Waiting for your reply Anita with an open heart and love.

GoingThroughLife

Dear Anita, thanks for your reply.

Yes, we can focus on career and future if possible for now. I guess I never believe in myself and have faith, that things would work out. I am not able to stick to do one thing, which may make me a jack of all trades, but not amaster of one. I haven’t found my passion and jn just pursuing anything just for the money in it.

This kind of confusion spells over to my life’s other aspects too

By the way SS says she went out with that guy, got drunk a bit, went to his room and only kissed him and then stopped, nothing else happened. I may have been a bad boyfriend as per her but I never cheated. And anita you know how Iseek out relationships for the safety. I know I don’t want to get into a relationship with her again, moving on is better. I’m just angry how easily and consciously she ruined it.

Thanks for listening Anita

GoingThroughLife

I’ll write this post to give you a brief Anita. Let’s call the most recent girl SS.

When we met I was not so attracted to her physically but I liked her nature, she seemed trustworthy, and I was looking for a partnership, so I pursued. From the start I didn’t show much emotions towards her. I did not even say I love you to her in the first year, while she did.

I’m still haven’t carved out a career yet and really busy in all that stress, I couldn’t give more time to her. With time I started to not enjoy talking to her, like I don’t like her by her physical attributes but emotionally I was fine.

I even tried to break up in the first year but we came back together.

Last night I got to know that she cheated on me with a senior in her college. And I don’t know what to feel, I miss the safety a bit of her too.

Hi Anita,

How have you been?

I hope you’re well and really good. I hope we can start our conversations here again.

Praying to hear from you soon

Your friend,
GoingThroughLife

Hi Anita, hope you’re well.

I understand, I also felt /feel guilty a lot of times for some choices that I made, but as I look back it was just me learning and doing my best with the knowledge I had. Thanks for clearing up your point of view in the previous message. I do want to make choices which never leave me feeling guilty.

I have been thinking about breaking up with SS, she’s nice but it’s been some months since we started dating, and I don’t feel such a strong connection, it’s nice and non toxic but it’s not that strong. I still miss EN a lot and I want a connection like I had with her. That may take some time to find, but I hope it’ll come my way when I’m ready.

EN and I spoke over normal calls for 4 months and I fell in love with her by just those talks, her brain, her way of thinking and etc. It was never just about how beautiful she is. I know I may be rambling on about her but I’m deeply confused about what went wrong. At one moment she expressed her feelings and in another moment she just let me go. I don’t want to make the wrong choice again about breaking up with SS and then feel guilty although I feel breaking up is the right thing to do.

What are your thoughts on this Anita?

Thanks

Hi Anita

Yes, goals are important right now.

To be true in really don’t feel like journalising anything about her. I don’t want to do go through that at the moment, don’t really know why but I don’t.

Hope you’re doing well Anita.

Thanks

Hi Anita

It’s kind of you to re-read our whole conversation again. There hasn’t been any news with EN. I still do miss her alot and many times I just think about her. Sometimes I feel like just texting her again out of the blue, but that will be really illogical.

Apart from that I met someone else. I met her in February before I sent that message to EN. This new person let’s call her SS. She’s nice and sweet and she’s smart too. It’s been going well with her till now but I haven’t come into a relationship with her right now. I’m still thinking about it.

Apart from that my life has taken a busy turn and I’m much more focused on my goals at the moment.

Hope you’re doing well Anita.

Thanks