Hi Chey,

I’m so sorry for all this that you are going through! The first thing that sticks out to me is you saying that you are broken. No one is broken! At least I don’t believe so. We all have our own psychological processes going on that come out in life like defense mechanisms, fears and ego based insecurities. But with all that everyone is doing the best they can all the time. You are doing the best you can all the time. When you heard that your boyfriends family was offended by something you said, it made you super upset. And that’s natural!! But it doesn’t have to! Were you doing something purposefully malicious? No. Were you intending to act like a know it all? No. If we let how we think other people see us, determine how we feel about ourselves, then when they become offended it is super upsetting!! But ask yourself, do I think I am a good enough person? Why? And that is ALL you need! Are you good enough because you are pretty? Because you have a good job? Because you are smart? No. You are good enough because you simply exist at all. Seriously, that deep stuff in your core, like what you love to do, what you love about life, THAT is you. You don’t have to let what they think of you affect you so deeply. It only will, if the way you think they see you, will then determine how you see you. It’s completely natural for you to not want them to be offended by something you did, that wasn’t intending to offend them. If you wanted, you could bring it up casually and like no big deal, that you are so sorry about that comment, your boyfriend told you they were offended and you totally didn’t mean to! It sounded like you were super uncomfortable the rest of the time with his family. And your boyfriend wants you to be “more social”. He honestly might just mean he wants you to be more comfortable. You can’t tell someone to be comfortable when they are not, so this isn’t really something he should be putting pressure on you to be. But anyways, its a valid thing for him to want. SO to be more comfortable, that really just means comfortable being yourself. And being comfortable being yourself really just means knowing who you are is good enough. Which it ALWAYS is, simply because you exist at all.