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Yes ma’am. Some days are easier than others. As long as you make a consistent effort as you catch yourself / your “mind” when the negative starts to creep up & try to replace it with positive, or at least not continue to feed the negative, it gets easier. “Habits” don’t happen from one day to the next…they are reinforced & strengthened over time…that applies to “bad” habits as well as “good” habits.
Don’t forget to allow yourself forgiveness when you stumble around in the negative on occasion. When that happens try to pick yourself, dust yourself off as best you can and keep moving towards your goals.
Love, light & blessings!
I don’t know if I have good advice for you or not…but I’m gonna try.
I understand about living with guilt because you feel you’re not living up to others expectations of you. I often struggle with similar feelings. You say you feel like “they” (hubby & mom) don’t love or respect you. Maybe they’re loving you in the best way they know how. That doesn’t make their actions “right” or “wrong”…it’s just who they are. It seems like maybe you’re allowing them to be who they are more than you’re allowing yourself to be who you are/who you want to be. Just as you accept they are who they are, you must accept you for who you are. Having said all of that…ahem…let them run their race & you run yours. As long as you’re not being malicious or hurtful (to the best of your abilities) at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what they think & I don’t think you have anything to feel guilty about. If they can’t “live & let live”, that’s on them, not on you, don’t make it your burden if you can help it.
From one “emotional wreck” to another…try to stop & take stock of the current moment when you have those negative feelings. Is everything ok with where are at that moment? If yes, build on that “safe n sound” moment…one safe step at a time…if no, do what you can to fix it & then move on…set the negative moment (& yourself) free knowing you did what you could to the best of your ability but don’t dwell in that negative mindset. It gets easier to “let go of the negative” the more you practice.
I hope this helps you some. Sending love your way. May you be well.