Try to look up info on narcissism there’s a great website called narcissism cured.com and those 2 talk of their very bad relationships with each other and healing that has occurred for both. Your description of what has happened is thought provoking. I see you both as having really deep issues that have not been resolved. Sounds like the “war of the roses” movie in your house.
What is unacceptable and MUST be fixed is the level of violence. You are both abusive to each other. The drama/adrenaline associated cements the activity in the brain as exciting and it turns into an addictive pattern with each other. This is something that must be healed. There is much hope for this. Many blessings.

When I quit listening to my gut instinct, I found myself lost and adrift. Listen to yourself. I too agree that it just was not right-for you-and when we can listen to ourselves we find out much. Being 27is not old but it sure can feel that way. Take a tally of what you liked about this girl then BE KIND AND LET HER GO. You aren’t sure of what you want so allow this girl, that you claim to love, to
find herself with another. Then you bear that pain…it is yours to own and learn from. Too cruel to her to keep her in your back pocket while you figure it out. There will be someone out there…who has what you like, and by then those nagging doubts will not be a hindrance.

Esp for Suze. Aha! That is the real question. For me, I am sure I had really screwed up hormonal and chemical stuff in my head after 3major surgeries in 6 weeks. I went over a cliff and sank to the depths of a dark abyss. Lotsa work…better now. It’s only the grace of god that I didn’t make a suicide attempt. After his 39 y.o. Ass hooked up w. A 19 y.o. Daughter of his band mate and friend…as they say, the cheese slipped off the cracker. I have an enduring faith that can only grow stronger. God kept me alive.
For me the chaos of an abusive past felt familiar. Somewhere I believed I was tainted, less than. What is the TRUTH? That I am human and make mistakes but I am a really good person. Flat. You gotta make yourself believe it too because it is the truth.
I wish you we’ll as you explore Furthur why you give into him. More to come.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 7 months ago by rushlady.

What I am dealing with is my own foiables. I entered into therapy shortly after I met him due to extreme confusion as to what was going on. He was attentive, entertaining, cute, funny and we loved the same music. After seeing him for 3 months, he told me he just couldn’t possibly be in a relationship for all the reasons that people use. I had fallen for him Deeply fell for him. So excited to be with him. He spent a lot of his time with me. Then the weird things began. I wasn’t allowed to call him. If I took his arms to wrap around me then I was just TAKING and not allowing anything to be natural. I got a lecture our first Valentines’ Day together. IN 3 1/2 years he has bought me NOTHING. (I say I’m not even worth a gas station rose to him.) Much research lead me to understand I was dealing with a narcissist. He has been so mean to me. You would think I’d turn and run.
But NOOOOOoooooo…..my own foiables. I have operated under the delusion that God put us together, and that I was to be there to help and support him, and care for him. I was certainly educated as to what was going on but by then decided I could deal with it…he was still teachable. My foiables. He has not ever been romantic. I kept thinking about the woman on one blog who talked abt. being in a 20 year marriage and being intimate only 5 times. YUK!!! My foiables. My belief because I felt it to my inner core. I so strongly believed I was to be there for him thru all odds. (Needless to say it has not been reciprocated).
My foiables. My delusion. So I google delusion and to break from it tonite. Not my saying but they said deception is a lie wrapped in the truth. Listen to God’s truth and ACT ON IT. Give permission for one trusted person to hold us accountable…they confront us when they see us living a false belief.
So, like you, I am trying to get over him. We split and reunite all the time. But what is God’s truth for me? If I really shine a light on that, then I know this is not the right man for me. It would never work. I am going to let go of some of this false thinking TONIGHT!!! Thank you all for listening to my story. One thing I will leave you with that is a solid truth…there ARE plenty of fish in the sea. Break up, start to heal, then go looking again. Don’t grow bitter. You will be lead to a good partner. Make a daily contract to just live. Then do what you have to do to heal. Then start fishing.
May every blessing be yours