Your boyfriend sounds like a narcissist.  I am convinced of this based on one sentence you said:  “And because he was so good to me in other ways, it’s why I blame myself now. Maybe its me, not him?”

Darling girl.  Narcissists will seek out empathetic individuals and twist the truth to make everything that is wrong in the relationship the other person’s fault–in addition to that, they make us doubt ourselves and think it is in our heads.

It’s not in your head.  He is not for you.  I married a narcissist–it almost destroyed me.  I loved him and I do think he loved me–for a while anyway–but what they put you through is not worth it.

Move on.  You are worth more.  You deserve more.

Heatherjewel