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heavyheartParticipant
Hi Anita,
I have an update I’d like to share:
We have talked about it and he didn’t want to continue the relationship with me even though we both still care about each other. He feels that it’s hard to continue because our situation like locations, family and religion made it very hard to continue. So I respected his decision, I don’t want to push him if he doesn’t believe that we can do it. I still love him very much and we both wish each other well.
I feel like I won’t feel love like that anymore. Maybe I’m too negative I don’t know, but I never felt loved like that before. Someone that I can really open up and be comfortable. I can be more like myself with him even more than with my own family.
But anyway I’m glad that we both can talk about it and have closure. I’m going to make this as a learning experience and hopefully I can become a better person. Just that sometimes it’s hard to stay positive and be optimistic about the future and myself.
heavyheartParticipantYes I agree, I think we need to compromise, and if in the end we can’t then it’s no point getting back together if we end up in limbo again. Thank you for your advise and if you don’t mind I’d like to update you after our meet up.
Thanks again Anita, hope you have a great day ahead 🙂
heavyheartParticipantHi Anita, thanks for replying.
I will talk to my parents about us and try to make them understand our position. I’ve done my research and marriage between two religion is possible. Or if one of us have to switch religion then I’m ok with that. I do believe that my parents will understand my point of view even though I know that it will be hard for them to understand at first. I still want to try and inform this to my parents because if I don’t try then I will never know.
Also my point is that even when you are married and in the same religion it doesn’t guarantee that you will have successful marriage anyway. I feel like both side need to work together. Also his dad changed his religion to marry his mom and the marriage was not good, so I think he will understand when I say that we still can work this out even if we both believe in different religion.
Beside this obvious challenge, I do really love him. I don’t know if his feeling towards me has changed, but I do love him.
heavyheartParticipantHi Anita and everyone,
I’d like to share an update. I took your suggestion to give him and myself time to think. I didn’t expect any communication from him after he cut contact with me. I’ve been praying more and meditating. And then two weeks after no contact, he suddenly texted me and we catch up with each other. We still text each other until now, even though it’s not as frequent or intense as before.
He’s planning to come to my country, his excuse is to go to see an exhibition (which we did planned before all of this is happening) so he asked me to go with him and I accepted his invitation. But he’s been sending me mixed signal with the way he communicate with me and that makes me confused as to what is his true intention. I don’t know if he want to officially cut ties with me face to face (but he will be staying here for 3 nights which makes me wonder if that’s really the case) or to fix our relationship.
As for myself, I’ve been thinking and I still want a relationship with him for real this time. That is if he wants the relationship as well. He’s coming in a few days and my anxiety has been increasing. I’ve been crying a lot as I overthink every worst possible scenario.
I just want your opinion if I’m doing the right thing or should I approach this any other way.
Thanks! 🙂
- This reply was modified 6 years, 5 months ago by heavyheart.
heavyheartParticipantDear Anita and Michelle,
I think I’m going to search my feelings to find the truth. Maybe my judgement was clouded.
Thank you for taking your time to reply and giving suggestions. I really appreciate that.
heavyheartParticipantDear Michelle, thanks for responding to this thread.
I do know it too that I took him for granted and realized it too late. This is what I regret the most. However I feel like I still need closure because he leave it kind of vaguely. I’m prepared to what ever his answer will be.
I’m sorry that you’ve been in his position. If anything this relationship has taught me to be a better person and never took anything for granted.
heavyheartParticipantHi Anita, thank you for responding. I really appreciate it!
Yes, I’m willing to marry him regardless of the religious difference. I know that we will have problems with both of our parents, but I’m willing to go through that with him. He was willing to do so previously, but I wasn’t. I was always the more logical person in the relationship. And now when I’m finally ready, he feels that his heart is already broken and having a hard time trusting me.
I have not discuss this with my parents but I know they won’t agree because they did find out I was dating him in the early stages of my relationship and did not approve. But we were still together regardless of that.
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