Laura, I am you. I am like that when Im in a relationship. More than a year ago my boyfriend broke up with me because I always have a habit of breaking up with him when things is getting hard for me to know if he is staying or not. The guy hasn’t done anything wrong though for me to have that kind of negative thoughts about him and I don’t think it is fair for him either to put him to such a roller coaster emotions. He told me the first time I broke up with him is that he felt I don’t value our relationship for me just to walk away like that. He knows that I have a bad experience in the past and he did try to understand me. He even encouraged me to go counseling because he wants us our relationship to work. I told him I am going to try my best and work on me. Ive pretended that I am doing a work but to be honest with you it was hard, even if Im working on it, my mind also working thinking negatively. Then that one day I couldn’t hold on into my emotions anymore and I just said “we should break up”, I felt I wanted to do this because I don’t want to hurt myself even more, but actually I don’t really want to, if that makes sense. The more I thought about it the more I realized that Im putting this wonderful man to a test see how far he can go with me, which is ridiculous! He doesn’t even know he is being tested. So when I said that we should break up, he agreed. 🙁 He said he no longer wants to walk on eggshell being with me. That was more than a year, he is now seeing someone new and I’m still here trying to get over him and blaming myself. I sometimes question myself if I ever find a guy like him who love, respect me more that I thought I deserve. I love him very much.

I know it is hard, but I don’t want you commit the same mistake I did. Love your guy with all your heart and stop the negative self talk. He is with you and he choose to be with you, you just need to realized that you deserved this love he wanted to share with you TAKE IT and have it nurtured.

All the best Laura.