Forum Replies Created
August 28, 2013 at 10:19 am #41346IsabellaParticipant
I wish I could come up with a thank you response to you half as beautifully crafted as your advice. To be honest I never really stopped to think about the things I had done, or how it was affecting me. It was just how I functioned, but now I see how harmful I’ve been to myself, considering how hard it’s been for me to start being compassionate toward myself. The analogies you used make a world of sense, and the more I think about it, the more I want to slap myself on the head and go D’OH! Putting others before myself was how I operated, which is why I started becoming exhausted, cold, and bitter because I was giving out all of my oxygen.
I will most definitely be taking your advice and start focusing on myself. I’m really interested in starting meditation, so thank you so much for sharing! And again, thank you for all of your encouragement. I am on a track towards healing and happiness, and I believe in what you said about it approaching.
Thank you so much for helping me take a step further down this path; your words mean the world to me.August 28, 2013 at 9:07 am #41344IsabellaParticipant
Thank you so much for your kind words. I have been coming to realize that I can’t help/love others without first loving myself, which is what I’m trying to work on. To answer your question, this gap that you speak of is a concept quite familiar to me. Going to Boston University actually was the one thing that I did want at the time. My parents had their own idea of schools, but said they’d support my attendance there as long as I could pay for it in its entirety (they also refused to cosign loans), hence the scholarship. As far as going the military route, that’s something I’ve been struggling with for a while. It’s very close to my heart since I grew up in the environment, and I’ve always had this inherent desire to give back to the service that gave my family and I so much over the years. I also learned while I was within JROTC and ROTC that I was very good at what I did, and I genuinely cared about leading others and succeeding.
But, as you said, I always had the thought in my head that it wasn’t what I really wanted. I wasn’t sure what else I did want however, so I accepted that this was the closest I was going to get. This wasn’t a path that was pressured on to me by my parents out loud; they made it clear that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to. That being said, I now wonder if I felt like this was the only thing that would make them proud, so I chose the direction strictly to appease them.
You’ve got me thinking, and I thank you for that.