Thanks Anita. It’s quite odd that you’ve said what I wanted to hear (i.e. message him) and for the first time I don’t feel like it anymore. Maybe writing about it helped and having someone neutral like yourself answer even more so.

But I do know myself and I would like to get answers or closure or one last shot…not sure what. But I will take your advice and make sure I don’t go for a casual chit chat and be prepared.

Thanks again for listening. It was extremely helpful (if you haven’t already figured!).

Hopefully it will be ok and I am able to move on eventually. In case however I need some guidance or strength, I know where to reach you!

Thank you

Ida

Thanks Anita, your questions make me feel like you really want to understand.

To answer your questions:

– yes, he broke-up with me. His family problems from what I recall was that his older sister wasn’t married and his parents were worried and there were fights in the house. I also remember they were pressuring him to think about marriage too and he says he wasn’t ready. I think he was getting too frazzled and overwhelmed. He wasn’t even happy at his job. was 29 then and he was 28.

– we started texting again after about 2-3 months of breaking up. I was in city B and missing him so messaged him first and it started again.

– you should know he was always sceptical about being in a relationship. I mean we both cried when we broke up but so I know it was emotional for him. But the second time when he started dating, he was keeping too much distance. We would text more and not talk on the phone as it was too personal and emotional. We started sort-of seeing each other again for s month and slowly I could feel he was getting normal or relaxed again. But randomly he started disappearing and I would call but he wouldn’t answer but respond with a text. I think about a few weeks of this one weekend he went away with his friends and I kept texting him to which he dint respond…no one goes for a weekend trip without their phones! I thought this waiting for him to respond and me checkibg in was driving me crazy so I told him I can’t do this any more. But I have to mention (not very proud about this) but I’m a very impatient person and so could be I reacted too strongly…I don’t know.

– about his past relationship, I recall he mentioned he dated someone for a year in college. I don’t think I asked more about that.

– why was this relationship different? Because he was in so many ways exactly who I thought I was looking for… we had great conversations…like he would say the right things…he is intelligent, loved to read…tall and slightly goofy-looking.

– my previous relationship before this was for about 3 yrs in my 5yr college. It ended mutually as were moving to different cities. But in so many ways, this guy is like my first ex.

Probably you will say we broke up because of a reason or maybe I miss him because he unfortunately was what I pretty much wanted. But I don’t think it’s normal to miss someone after so many years when we barely dated.

I guess I sound  deluded and dreamy…

thanks again for listening.

Ida