Forum Replies Created
September 8, 2020 at 11:00 am #366350
i have had another chat with him and he is going to make an appointment tomorrow. Thank you for the advice.September 8, 2020 at 9:26 am #366346
No I haven’t told him that I am afraid his bad thoughts are about harming me.
The reason i haven’t said that to him is because the information I have read about intrusive thoughts are that they are not what a person wants to do in fact they are the very opposite of what the person wants to do which is why they cause them so much distress.
I have never felt like he would hurt me, he’s never so much as raised his voice to me.
I guess it’s the unknown that’s making my mind fire up and try to work out what the thoughts are and what they mean when in reality the information I have read tells me they don’t mean anything!September 8, 2020 at 8:14 am #366340
Okay I will approach the subject about seeing a doctor again. I don’t know that they are about harming me I have no idea what they are just that they are bad and he doesn’t want them and that he hasn’t and doesn’t want to action them. They pop into his head and he worries about why they popped into his head and then gets down about it.September 8, 2020 at 7:11 am #366338
Hi thank you for your reply, he said he wants to try and help himself first, meditating, eating well, exercising and not drinking alcohol. He seems much happier since he talked about it and said it’s a weight has been lifted. I said I think therapy would help him especially dealing with abuse from his childhood and he is quite keen on therapy but wants to try to do things to help himself first.
I feel very confused about how I feel, because at night when I can’t sleep I think and ruminate about what these “bad” thoughts he talked about are. Are they about harming me, are they horrible unspeakable things that none of us would want to think?! And what do they mean? I feel so aloneSeptember 7, 2020 at 12:16 pm #366311
Thank you for replying although I think I understand and I know rationally that the thoughts are just thoughts and have no power. There is still a part of me who is trying to work out what his bad thoughts are, are they about harming me or others or are they unspeakable things that I have read pure o suffers can have as intrusive thoughts. Then I feel sick thinking he is thinking horrible things and in what context and I start thinking about are they intrusive thoughts or are they things he wants to do and is he the person I thought he was. Then I feel guilty because I know rationally that the intrusive thoughts people with pure o get are nothing to do with how they really feel and doesn’t mean they want to do those things or that they are had people. Then I go round in circles.
becuase he won’t tell me what the thoughts are I’m imagining they are the worst thing possible but then I get annoyed at myself because it doesn’t matter what the thoughts are they are not real life.
how do I support him when it’s tearing me apart?August 7, 2019 at 1:52 am #306963
Thank you for the reply this makes so much sense to me!August 6, 2019 at 12:44 pm #306909
I think you’re right, I’m resisting the fact that it’s going to take 4 years and constantly feeling stressed trying to work out ways that I can bring in more cash/ spend less to over pay the loan and get it paid off faster than 4 years. But I feel like it’s keeping me stuck in a constant state of stress where I’m struggling to sleep and over eating.August 5, 2019 at 1:13 pm #306741
Thank you for your kind words Peggy, I think you’re right I need to relax and stop obsessing. I just feel like this huge debt is like a noose around my neck and I want it gone ASAP but it’s going to take time and I need to accept that and stop resisting.